I coach inner city kids and mixed with a 2-3 well trained kids. My struggle is the football coaches let them get away with anything so any discipline i give has a hard time sticking. It doesn't teach them a life lesson, it teaches them Coach McCall don't put up with it (but others will). My struggle is knowing there horrible home life i tend to want to be more patient with things like missing practice or something cause some times they truly can't find a ride... consistency vs being understanding ??

I think the first thing you need to do is consider this:

If you can't enforce a rule fairly and equitably, then don't have the rule.
Second is that the standards begin with you, but you can have them take ownership of it:
Have them come up with the team goals, rules, the team non-negotiables, and the penalties.

Sit them down and have them set the goal for the team:
Wins?
Championships?
Practice Goals?
What they set will tell you what is important for them.
If they poor or nebulous goals, redefine it for them.
If they set good goals, now you have a hook in.

Say they set a conference championship as their team goal.
"Well guys, this is an excellent goal to have, but this is what you'll need to do in order to meet that goal...."
Here would be your opportunity to explain the expectations of a championship practice, game and season and all it entails. What practice attendance needs to look like. What practice effort needs to look like. What attitudes need to look like.

Now let them set the rules. What is important to them? It will become apparent based on what they come up with.
What is the penalty being late to a practice?
For missing practice?
For missing multiple practices?
For disrespecting the coach?
For not giving full effort?

When they do this together, they can keep in mind what everyone is capable of doing and not doing. They can set their own penalty, and when you enforce it: "This is what you and your team mates decided was important. "If you don't want to be held to it, then it means nothing, and the goals you and your team mates set mean nothing."

I'm spit-balling ideas for you. This is obviously a difficult situation to be in. But if you are looking for a way to enforce discipline without it just looking like it's important to YOU, then have the team set the goals, rules, and non-negotiables. Then when you enforce it, it's not just because it's important to you, but also because it's important to THEM.

Just my thoughts, doesn't make me right.

Brian Sass

First of all, good on you for coaching these kids, that is an extremely tough situation.

Brian has some good thoughts. It would be difficult to enforce a rule about making it to practice if you allow some to miss for whatever reason. Someone is always going to have an excuse. The harsh reality is the world doesn't care about the excuses and I can tell you're trying to figure out how to impart that life lesson. The flip-side is that some of these kids probably don't get any support from their parents and legitimately don't have a ride to practice. Add to that the football coaches letting them slide and you have an uphill battle.

Here's what I'm betting. If one of these boys had a chance to hang out with a cute girl or go to a social gathering at a specific time and place, I'd bet my last dollar they'd figure out a way to get there. In other words, if something is important enough to an individual, no matter what their circumstances, they usually find a way to try and make that happen.

Without driving yourself nuts, I'd ask each kid if they had a way to get to practice with back-up plans. Maybe even throw out an e-mail or phone call to parents asking if they could help. Then I'd lay out the speech about the cute girl and see how many of those guys raise their hand when you ask if they could find a way to hang out with her. I bet everyone raises their hand.

Again, great job taking on this responsibility.