So after 5 years and roughly 16 seasons of coaching my son and daughters sports teams. I've finally ran into an upset parent. Given the number of seasons I've been the coach and never hearing anything bad (to my face that is), I'm having a tough time letting this go.

I have 7 boys on my son's bb team. 32 minute games. It's impossible to give all 7 players equal playing time. Knowing that 2 boys (not the same boys each game) will get 20 minutes and the other 5 will get 24 minutes; I discussed this openly with parents before our 1st practice explaining to parents that each kid will sit 4 minutes more than others for 2 games each. By the end of the season, every kid will get the same minutes.

I've sat my own son two of the first four games and another boy two of the first four games. The other 5 on my team has sat more in 1 game but will be sitting at least 1 more game before our season is over. Making it equal all around.

The parent walked up after our last game and started it off by saying, "I'm here to bi#$%", and complained to me about sitting their son and if it happens again, she's pulling him from the team.

At first I handled the situation pretty good. But as time has passed, I'm getting extremely upset. She's complaining to her volunteer coach who spends upward to 200 hours during the bb season with her son. And the fact that my own son has sat the bench the same amount as her son really is irritating. The comment she made of pulling him from the team now puts my asst and I in a "looking over our shoulder" mode. I would never let her outburst effect her son's playing time going forward but come on people? What happens if he gets hurt half way in a quarter and we have him sit. Will she get mad again?

Am I over-reacting here? I have three specific reasons why she should have never approached me to begin with.

Any advice?

That sound ridiculous to me. My advice would be to.... "let it go". I know it's easier said than done. But you will never make everyone happy. Does this parent realize that everyone gets 100% equal time over the course of the season? If so, they are completely nuts.

You will always have crazies and it is absolutely amazing to me that you haven't run into this before. That is just a miracle to me. Dealing with parents is part of the job. Eventually coaches get better at "letting it go". Because like i said you can't make everyone happy and there are just some crazy people out there that no matter how good you do, they will be unhappy no matter what.

Here's an article with ideas to possibly handle outbursts in the future, but for the most part I would not worry about this parents complaint. It just comes with the territory. Just try to focus on helping your kids and don't let it affect you.
http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/dealing-with-parents.html

Thanks Jeff. It's funny, I used this article to form my pre-season "expectations" talk with parents. I follow it to a tee before every season - bb or not.

All parents heard the same speech at the same time. It's just puzzling to me because this is kid I've coached 6 or 7 different times and I've never had a problem.

I know I need to let it go but the first time is hard man. I will leave it alone but I was hoping to have a one-on-one with her to express to her how she handled the whole situation was inappropriate. But you're right, I need to move on.

Thanks Jeff!

Brent

Jeff is right, let this go, you know you are doing the right thing and as coaches, we also know that we are NOT going to make them all happy... goes with the territory. Its a 3rd grade rec league NOT the NBA. You're a saint for taking that on in the first place.

The time factor is about as petty as you can get ... we are talking a few minutes, not a whole quarter or game here.

If you really want to clear the air, show her your master plan for playing kids to get them as close to equal time as possible. After that, forget about it! You do what you think is the right thing... kids get hurt, tired out, whatever... you sub and move on.

Smile at her, say yes mam and we are doing our very best to make sure that EVERYONE gets as close to equal playing time as we can.