Here is an excerpt from our free report called A Basketball Coaching Guide – How to Deal with Parents the "Right Way" and Avoid Unpleasant Problems.

As a coach, dealing with parents just comes with the territory. But, handling overzealous parents is never fun. And you know what we're talking about here. These are the parents who show up at practice demanding to know why their son or daughter isn't getting more playing time. Or, the ones that come up to you at halftime to let you know the combinations you used during the first half aren't working, and they had some ideas that might win the game during the second half if you wanted to hear them.

You know, those parents.

Although dealing with these parents is never going to be our favorite thing, it is something that we have to learn to get better at. The good news is that there are steps you can take to cut down on the number of unpleasant instances during a season.

These steps and tips can help you not only retain your authority and credibility as basketball coach, but help improve communication between you, your players, and their parents. And open communication is the most important tool you have when it comes to dealing with parents.

Tip # 1 - Have a Parent Meeting Before the Season Starts

You can nip a lot of problems in the bud simply by meeting with parents at the start of the season. Get to know them, and spend some time talking about your past coaching experience and how you're going to manage this season. Make sure you go over what you expect from players, and what kind of practice schedule you're going to keep.

What else should you bring up in the pre-season meeting?

• What you expect from the parents . They need to understand that they have the responsibility to get their child to practice on time, that their child will need equipment to play (like shoes, uniform, etc.), that they need to support their child by attending games, praising their hard work, etc. Make them understand that they're part of the team, too.
  
  
• Review your guidelines for playing time. If you make sure all the kids get equal minutes, let the parents know. If you base playing time on attendance, work ethic, off season participation, skill level, or anything of those things, let the parents know. Lay down the law now and avoid issues in the future.
  
  
• Go over your school's athletic department policy. If there are any fees or rules parents need to know about, now is the time to go over them. As an example, player eligibility is an important topic to cover.
  
  
• Go over your own rules and expectations. What are your rules about being late to practice or missing practice? What are your rules about communication? Do you require players to always approach you with issues before the parents? Do you allow parents to talk with you before or after games? Go over all these things so parents know what to expect.
  
  
• Make it clear you can't drop off players. You're the coach, not the carpool service. Make sure parents understand that they must be there to pick their kids up after practice. Dropping off your players isn't part of your job.
  
  
• Set guidelines for game days. Make sure parents understand that you expect them to behave on game days. This means positive cheering, not putting down other players, no yelling at the refs, and no criticizing you or other coaches. And, put your foot down about "sideline coaching" from parents. This only confuses their child. Some coaches even create a "parent code of conduct", that lists rules for how parents should conduct themselves through the season.
  
  
• Review the key points of your documents. You'll want to review the key points of your player handbook and parent letter. You might even want to read it to them. The point is that you want to be sure each parent has been exposed to your rules more than once. (Samples of player handbooks and parent letters can be found below.)
  
  
• Review your team goals, priorities, and philosophy. If your goals are to focus on your player's basketball development and personal development, then tell the parents. Explain what this means. Tell them about the fundamentals required to improve players in the long run. Tell them you are trying to teach honesty, work ethic, teamwork, and things that will help your kids be successful in the future and at the most important game of all - the game of life. What are your priorities as a coach? What are your priorities for the team?
  
  

Tip # 2 - Explain Your Coaching Philosophy

Parents and players both need to understand that playing time isn't a right, it's a privilege. So make sure this is clearly explained in the pre-season meeting with parents. Lay out exactly how you dole out playing time. Yes, it's probably going to go to the hardest workers, but what do players really have to do to earn playing time? What do they have to know? Spell it out so that there's no confusion.

If you coach a youth team and playing time is equal, parents need to know that. If not, you'll get parents that think their kids should be playing more than others (so they can win the game).

Coach Koran Godwin, of www.JumpStartHoops.com and author of "Everyone Hates a Ball Hog but They All Love a Scorer", says that it's important to tell parents how much you truly love all the kids on the team. Emphasize that the lessons you'll be teaching them over the next few months will not only develop them as players, but as men and women. Bringing this up will help them remember that the biggest benefit of the sport isn't about winning or playing time, it's about personal development.

It's also important to explain how you feel about things like sportsmanship, honesty, and ethical behavior. These values are important in sports, and parents should know that you'll be on the lookout for these things in their kids.

It's critically important for parents to understand your philosophy. This will eliminate countless problems down the road.

Tip # 3 - Require Players to Talk With You First

It's important to explain that if someone has a problem with their lack of playing time, the player, not the parent, should talk with you first. In the real world, people must know how to communicate. And, this is a skill your players have to learn on the team.

This should be a rule that you explain during your first parent meeting, put it in your handbook, and remind parents during the year.

Parents and players also need to know that you're going to be treating their kids like young men and women. Many younger players are used to having their parents "take care of things" for them (like calling the coach to get them more playing time!). Again, however, you need to make it clear that players need to speak with you first about any issues they have. If a player feels they deserve more playing time, then they should bring it up with you.

Tip # 4 - Create A Player Handbook

If your school or sports program doesn't have any kind of player handbook created, then you need to make one before the season starts. The handbook needs to explain the rules of behavior, punishments, scheduling, and practices times. It also needs to detail game day expectations. For instance, will your players be required to dress up for travel to and from games? Will travel with the team on the bus to and from games be mandatory?

The more players and parents know about what you expect, the fewer problems you'll have later on. See the next tip for some sample handbooks.

Tip # 5 - Create A Contract

After you create the player handbook, you need to create a contract for players and parents to sign. The contract will say that the players and their parents have read through the handbook, and promise to abide by the rules you've laid out.

Here are links to a few sample contracts and player handbooks for you to take a look at. You can use these contracts as examples and then change them to fit the needs of your athletic program.

www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/mustangtryoutpacket.pdf (Provided by Shane Matzen of www.mustangroundball.com)

www.mahoopsters.org/mahpages/info/pdf/mahhandbook.pdf

Please leave your comments and suggestions below...

Comments Most Likes First   Oldest First   Newest First Ken Sartini says: 2/17/2013 at 8:32:17 AM Pete - As for this -- ". I am shocked at how many high school coaches have no.concept at the difficulty of even junior college play, much less 4-year Division 3 schools." I think that more high school coaches understand this that you might think..... its the PARENTS that don't have a clue. They put a lot of pressure on coaches to find a school for their son. I know of several coaches that have told me about their parents believing that their son is a D1 player. I think that I had several kids that could have played past high school, JC or a small D3 school.... some above that. Some tried, some didn't want to put in that much work to go on and some most understood what was more important.... their career goals, or basketball. I had some call me apologizing for quitting... when I asked them why, they told me that its too demanding and they couldn't do justice to both... they chose their academics. I told them, NO apology needed, you are making the right choice. I'm sure that there are many HS coaches that fit your mold, but I think that most of us knew. (I'm a retired coach) Like     login   register Pete Puricelli says: 2/16/2013 at 10:05:54 PM I always point out that not everybody in the classroom gets the same grade regardless of ability or effort; every student does not get their work posted at an art show; not every band or chorus member gets a solo during the concert: every child does not get the same number of lines in the school play. Folks who are in charge of those pursuits don't need parent meetings or handbooks. Certain things are understood going in, and sports are no different, or shouldn't be. In every area of life there are benefits for high achievers. Nothing is given away and everything needs to be earned. One final thought: parents should be encouraged to watch the next level up in that sport to more clearly understand the challenges it brings. I am shocked at how many high school coaches have no.concept at the difficulty of even junior college play, much less 4-year Division 3 schools. Like     login   register Coach tom newell says: 9/4/2012 at 4:12:06 PM Coach, great points and suggestions...I have one main suggestion when it comes to Parents and Youth Sports at any level: Learn how to Educate them on the nuances of basketball, on and off the court...I'm not sure "handling" and "dealing" with them is the proper vernacular today...We're not State Patrolmen pulling over speeding motorists...rather, we're teachers FIRST and foremost, hopefully, and that quite simply, our model to follow goes beyond the Xs and Os that engage our Student Athletes for 4, 3, 2 or 1 year(s)...The points you share are valid and helpful, and I think the Parent meeting is the most important introduction to your philosophy that you can EVER imagine: Begin the session with this: Is your Son/Daughter a Player or Participant? A Player takes that which a Coach teaches and practices on his/her own, working diligently to improve their skills set so as to become an integral part of the team...A Participant is one who is just happy to be on the team, gets by on natural skills but doesn't put the EXTRA TIME in to improve overall and is a Happy Camper UNTIL he or she doesn't play or have a role on the team...By the way, it is here that I pass out mirrors to the parents to give to their kids to ask themselves upon reflection what are they? Like     login   register

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