When the season starts, every parent’s hopes are high. We all want to see our son or daughter play well, play a lot, and play on a winning team, usually in that order.

Sometimes, it works out that way.

Often, it doesn’t.

But that’s okay. That doesn’t mean it was a bad season. What it means is you may need to change the way you evaluate your child’s season.

As you “grade” their upcoming season, there are the 3 areas to assess. All 3 have something in common . . .

Life (And Basketball) Advice From The Stoics

Stoicism has made a comeback in recent years. Many are drawn to its philosophical teachings.

One of the most famous Stoics was Epictetus. He said the following:

• “The chief tasks in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control and which have to do with the choices I actually control.”

That is great advice for us as sports parents. When my daughters play basketball, do I want them to play a lot? Yes. Do I want them to win? Yes. It’s okay to want those things for your child. But they can’t be how you evaluate them.

Why? Because those things are largely out of their control. Who determines playing time? The coach. What determines winning? A host of things that go far beyond your child.

So, if that’s how you evaluate your child’s season, you are setting an unfair bar. You're grading them on factors outside their control. That generally creates stress and disappointment - for you and your child.

Improvement, Character, Experience: The Real Report Card for Youth Athletes

With that said, how should you evaluate their season? Try usingthese 3 criteria:

• Did their basketball skills improve? You should see improvement over the course of the season. Will some of that depend on the quality of their coach? Yes. However, if they go and work their hardest at every practice and game, they will get better, regardless of the coaching.

• Did their character improve? Sports should teach a lot more than technique. This can be tough to evaluate, so here are some things to look for:
• Do you see them serving their teammates?
• Do you hear them complementing their teammates?
• When things don’t go their way, do they get pouty and defensive or do they work harder and seek positive solutions?
• Do they respect opponents and referees?

If you are seeing those things, that’s something to be proud of!

• Did they have a good experience? This can mean different things to different players. Notice I said players. It’s about their experience, not yours. Maybe you wished they played more or played a different position. If they’re okay with it, you need to get over it.
• For some, a good experience is about improving. For others, it’s about being with their friends and having fun. Some focus on winning. You know your child. As the season goes on, talk with them about how things are going.
• Keep in mind a good experience doesn’t mean every moment will be fun. It won’t be. Sometimes, sports are hard. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s part of the reason they play. As you know, the most rewarding accomplishments we achieve are the ones we worked the hardest to get. And you can’t learn how to deal with adversity if you never go through it.

A Grading Scale That Needs No Curve

The best thing about this report card is every player can earn straight A’s. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the star player or the player who plays the least.

If they are meeting the criteria above, that’s a win.

Let’s make sure we are reminding them of that too. If so, both our kids and us will be better for it!

 

Comments Most Likes First   Oldest First   Newest First

Leave a Comment Name : Email (not published) : Ten minus five is equal to?  (Prevents Spam) Answer :  Load New Question Comments : Leave this Blank :