You may have heard that fan is short for fanatic. Merriam Webster defines a fanatic as "someone marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion."

Sounds about right.

Chances are you are your child's biggest fan. (You should be. Unfortunately, some children can never perform well enough to please their parents.)

That said, you want to be a supportive fan without being fanatical.

Too many parents engage in sideline behaviors that they truly think are helping their child. In actuality, it's having the exact opposite effect.

At the top of that list is coaching from the sideline.

As nicely as I can say, pipe down and let your kids play.

Why Parents Coach From The Sideline

This is pretty simple - we want to see our child succeed! There's also a good chance we know more about basketball than they do (or at least we think we do).

So with that in mind, what's wrong with giving them some coaching during the game? If they are open and not sure what to do, shouldn't we tell them to shoot?

Shouldn't the coach appreciate that? It's hard for them to give feedback to all 5 players at once.

There's a lot wrong with coaching from the sideline. And I can guarantee that the coach won't appreciate it.

3 Problems With Parents Coaching From The Sideline

Here are 3 major issues with this:

• You’re not the coach - if you wanted to coach, you should have signed up to coach. You are there to support. Support as in encourage, not coach.

You are not at all the practices. You don’t know exactly what the coach is telling your child and their team. That means there’s a strong chance you are telling them to do something different from what their coach is telling them to do.

When that happens, it hurts your child more than anyone. They now are getting a mixed message. Should they listen to the coach, and risk upsetting you? Or should they listen to you, and risk upsetting their coach? It’s a no win situation.

And it harms the person you most want to see succeed.

• You are robbing your child of decision making reps - I am confident you don’t want your child to be a robot on the court.

There are players like this. They can’t function outside of the coach (or their parents). They must be told exactly what to do.

Does anyone think those players will be successful in the long term? Of course not. Decision making is one of, if not the most important skill in basketball.

The only way your child will get better at making decisions on the court is by getting reps. When you verbally coach them the entire game, you rob them of those opportunities.

Instead of thinking for themselves, they are just following your orders. I think of players who look for their parents in the stands during breaks in the game. This is a terrible habit. When you explicitly or implicitly endorse this behavior, you are telling your child to listen to you instead of their coach.

Are they going to make the right decision every time? Of course not. None of us do. However, they will get better with reps. If you don’t let them get those reps, they’ll never learn to think the game for themselves. 

• You’re making the game less fun - players don’t like being coached from the stands. I can think of multiple kids I’ve seen mouth to their parents to be quiet during games.

No parent wants their child to be miserable by playing. And yet, many of us engage in behaviors that result in that.

If you continue to do this, it can harm your relationship with your child. No basket is worth that.

You Don't Have To Be A Mute

Hopefully you see the issues with coaching from the sideline. This doesn't mean there's no place for your voice during your child's game. So what is that place?

Cheering! More than anything else, your child needs you to be their cheerleader. If they play with great effort, cheer them on. If they are a great teammate, cheer them on. Support them!

That's the voice they need in their head. Not the voice telling them what to do. The one reminding them that you believe in them and are there for them no matter what.

Even better, cheer for all the players. When you support every player, you set a great example for your child. You are being an example of a ‘good teammate'. When they see that, they are more likely to do the same.

Final Thoughts

You care about your child. You want them to succeed. That is nothing to be ashamed of. But the love we feel for our children also can make it hard to see the forest through the trees.

The tree is that shot you want to yell at them to take when they are open during the game.

The forest is the relationship you want with them - one based on love and support, and one that knows that players learn through being able to make mistakes.

Keep your eyes on the forest and you'll get what you're looking for - a closer relationship and a better sports experience for your child!

What do you think? Let us know by leaving your comments, suggestions, and questions...

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