Breakthrough Basketball Newsletter:
Be Demanding Not Fearful. Here's Why

January 4th, 2022

“My players know this: just because I don’t walk around like I have to put fear in their hearts, that doesn’t mean the demands aren’t going to be extremely high.

I’ve always been a believer that being a coach doesn’t mean there has to be some constant level of discomfort for kids to reach their goals.”

Sound like your coaching philosophy? Or the complete opposite?

In this email, you can find out what coach said this and why it made him a highly desirable hire at a prestigious college...

As well as 5 ways to promote a positive culture in your team...

Which results in players who buy in to what you’re teaching and WANT to perform for you!

Hope you enjoy it!


Improve Player Buy-In and Performance Using Positive Impact Coaching Strategies

If you follow college football, you may have seen that Notre Dame recently named Marcus Freeman as their head coach.

Freeman’s not only a successful Xs and Os coach, he also creates a positive culture on his team using positive impact coaching methods.

He may just do it naturally, but there’s a lot we can learn from coaches like him.

I think Freeman said it all with his recent quote on Twitter:

“Listen, I know I’ve been labeled as a player’s coach, and I’m proud to wear that badge.

But I’ll be honest, I think there’s a misconception about a player’s coach, that Oh, the players like him – he’s their buddy.

And my players know this: just because I don’t walk around like I have to put fear in their hearts, that doesn’t mean the demands aren’t going to be extremely high.

I’ve always been a believer that being a coach doesn’t mean there has to be some constant level of discomfort for kids to reach their goals.

You can be very demanding, and still make people feel good and still make people feel important – as long as they believe that you have their best interest at heart.”

Freeman is known as a “positive impact coach.” He is the embodiment of why we all went into coaching.

His philosophy can teach us something.

Influential Coaches Focus on Developing Individuals - Not on Winning

Think about an adult who had a positive, meaningful effect on you.

Did they yell at you constantly? Berate you? Only talk “business” with you?

No, I bet they did not.

The most influential people in my life, whether it be coaches, parents, teachers, clergy…whoever it was…treated me with respect and cared about me as more than a player.

They made me feel good about myself, and I wanted to perform for them. They nurtured me.

I didn't think we were friends. I just wanted to work for them and do what was asked of me. I could tell they wanted me to succeed and that they had my back.

In other words, these influential coaches were not just focused on creating a winning team.

Instead, they were focused on developing individuals who perform their best.

And sometimes we lose sight of the true reasons we coach…we get caught up in the wins and losses and other stressors that come with what we do. So once in a while it’s a good reminder just to sit back and ask yourself if you’re still doing some of the things below.

Because if you are, then chances are, your players will bend over backwards to do what you ask them to do.

These are strategies that good coaches and teachers alike use to create positive learning environments:

Key 1: Cultivate a Relationship With Each Player

Players don’t care what you know until they know that you care.

Contrary to some philosophies, players have to like you in order to perform for you. It doesn’t mean you’re “best buds.”

  • Take an interest in their lives. Find out what hobbies they’re into, and ask them about it. I once pretended to like turkey hunting so that I would have something in common with one of my players. Brag those hobbies up to other players. Make each kid feel important.

  • Accept players for who they are. Find out what they’re good at (on the court and off) and refer to it often. Understand if they have special needs or are going through a tough time. Just acknowledging any of that (not necessarily giving answers or advice) will go a long way. Make big deals of even the smallest of accomplishments.

  • Give them nicknames. Trust me - they love it. Just keep the nickname positive and personal. They’ll smile at you and remember those nicknames for years to come and refer to each other by those nicknames.

Nicknames might especially be important to connect with those kids you don’t know well or with those you need to buy into a role on the team.

Even if it’s just a play on their last name, it’ll go a long way in establishing that important rapport with them:

Player’s last name is Smith: Call him Smith-dog or Smithinator.

Or you can always just use the player’s initials as a nickname, or just shorten a first or last name.

Or pick a talent the player has and morph it into a nickname:

Someone’s who’s really fast: Jet or Wheels might be good

And if you’re not sure a kid wants a nickname, already has a nickname, or likes the nickname you gave him/her, just ask in a private moment:

Hey, is it okay if I call you Smith-dog? Or do you have another nickname you want me to use?

  • Don’t forget to laugh once in a while. And by all means laugh at yourself if you mess up.

Key 2: Create a Respectful and Honest Environment

  • Be honest (always in a kind manner). Kids can sense BS a mile away. This in itself will create mutual respect.

  • Don’t talk down to them. No matter what. Always talk respectfully and you’ll get the same back.

  • Manners and kindness go a long way in getting your players to buy in.

Key 3: Be a TRUE Disciplinarian

“Discipline” is actually from the Latin word meaning “to teach.”

Discipline doesn’t mean punishment or negative consequences…It means to make everything into a teachable moment through positive reinforcement.

  • Say things like, “That’s okay. Do better next time” if a mistake is made. Don’t yank them out of a game on the first mistake.

  • Correct the behavior in private. Praise the player in public.

  • All people are more likely to perform better if they are led by someone who is nurturing and encouraging. Praise and encouragement can go a long way and are far more effective than punishment and negative feedback.

  • I once learned in a Coaching Psychology class that people need to hear 7 positive statements to forget the 1 negative thing you said to them. Think about yourself…I bet you tend to remember the negative coaching comments you’ve received over the positive ones. Sad, but true.

Key 4: Coach in a Calm Manner

As for yelling, it’s over-rated.

The more you yell, the less effective you are (If you’re a parent, you understand what I’m talking about!).

If you are calm most of the time, then when you have to raise your voice, people sit up and take notice.

If you’re always yelling, you’ll be tuned out.

Save the yelling for when you really need it, and don’t ever use yelling to personally berate a player or team. It’ll backfire on you.

Remember, kids will mimic your demeanor. They’ll “do as you do.” And they pick up on whatever energy you’re putting out there.

This doesn’t mean you can’t be loud…we all know that’s necessary to get attention at times.

Key 5: Hold Them to High Standards

If you have all the above in place, your players will rise to meet the bar you set. They will perform for you and try their best to do what’s asked…because they like and respect you.

This will result in player buy-in, positive attitudes, and extra effort.

As new Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman said...

“You can be very demanding, and still make people feel good and still make people feel important – as long as they believe that you have their best interest at heart.”

And no one’s perfect…no one can uphold all these characteristics every single day. Cut yourself some slack on an off day...

But then “do better the next day!”

No one expects you to change your personality either, but you can give yourself permission to be calm, cool, and collected - a teacher of basketball.

Always remember...

Players don’t care what you know until they know that you care.


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Improve Player Buy-In and Performance Using Positive Impact Coaching Strategies

All the Best,

-Joe Haefner
Breakthrough Basketball