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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 16:47 

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I tried to send this through the contact us section on your website, but could not get it through. I have agreed to assistant coach our girls 5th-6th travel team. The girls are very inexperienced and lack many fundamental skills. I have begun working with them in practice, but am finding them extremely disrespectful and unwilling to listen. The female coach who has been with these girls through instructional for 2 years now has spoken to them and even sent a letter home to the parents. I am looking for a way to stay sane and get through to these girls that think they know everything, yet lost 24-4 in their first game. My daughter is new as a 5th grader this year and knows better than to be disrespectful, but I am also worried about her learning bad habits and manners from the "princess" group on her team. There are a couple of nice young ladies, but the majority is headed down the wrong path. Not sure if you can point me in the right direction, but right now any direction is better than where this is headed.

Thanks,
Tim


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 17:00 

Posts: 28
Playing time talks.

Lay it out there, let them know exactly what they're doing wrong and exactly what you expect them to do to correct it. Then reward good sportsmanship with playing time regardless of ability.

Also, you may want to think of ways to get them operating as a team, things that pull them together such as volunteering, or some group activity that doesn't have anything to do with basketball. Sounds to me as though these girls need some life lessons, you can use basketball to reinforce those lessons if they won't learn them directly from the game.

Good luck tim, sounds like you need it.


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 17:32 
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I agree with Hootch....

IF they are this bad at this young age what are they going to be like when they get older. It's time to stop this right now.

Maybe a quick trip up and back when they get mouthy... and yes... playing time... or the lack of always sends a message.

Tell them exactly what you expect from them and don't pull any punches. I like the idea of a non basketball related activity... maybe a trip to a nursing home.... or a kids ward at the hospital etc. Have them do something for either group.

Good luck

Ken


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 18:07 
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Tim:

I sympathize with you especially because you are volunteering and anyone giving their time freely and willingly should not be disrespected. I coach professional women so discipline comes easy to me however, in your case, you stated the female coach has spoken to the girls and even sent home a letter. Letters are read and easily discarded as many parents feel that it is not their little girl but someone else s. Have you thought about inviting all the parents to a face to face meeting to discuss the problem. The concerned parents will show up, those who are too busy or simply don't care may or may not show.

Coach Mac


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 18:20 

Posts: 28
Something else just occured to me, they lost 24-4? Is this typical? Do you think there could be a connection between losing like that and expressing themselves poorly?

I have a difficult time comprehending a player going an entire game and seeing only four points on the board while at the same time thinking no one has anything to teach her.

I reread your post and noticed that you didn't say anything about addressing the team, having a heart to heart, yourself. Is that because you haven't tried?

If that's the case tim then I'd also advise you to talk to the girls, as a team and also one on one. Kids can be defiant in numbers, and vunerable as individuals. Promises made directly to you from an individual are more apt to be kept than ones you get or assume you've gotten after addressing them as a group. Also, if you talk to each girl take special note of how they receive you, you may find out that your core group of troubled princesses actually consists of one problem girl.


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 18:34 

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Sounds like this group of girls played together for a few years now? If so, I'm betting the attitudes didn't just happen overnight. Unfortunately, as the assistant, not sure how much authority you have to change things. This should have been dealt with a few years back.

The key to change here is getting the parents support. If mom thinks her daughter can do no wrong, that's a big problem.

Maybe try and involve a few more parents to help in practice so they can:
1) see what's going on
2) help reinforce positive attitudes

If things don't change for the better, not sure I'd be sticking around for that kind of funk. Are there any other leagues around (non-traveling) that your daughter could play on and not be exposed to this?

CRob

EDIT: Just saw coachmac's post and agree on the face to face w/ parents meeting. Again, prob will be if some of the parents think their kid is fine.

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CRob


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 19:58 
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I think individual talks mentioned above are a good idea. There won't be one thing that will solve the problem. It will take multiple tactics and consistent effort to change their behavior. Here are a few links that come to mind that might give you some ideas. I think if you write down a handful of things that you think will work and document a plan, you'll have a good chance making a change.

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/coaching.html (check out the Team Chemistry section)

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/mental/motivate-players.html (pick a couple things from here that you think will help)

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/discipline.html

One more idea. Bring in an authority figure as a guest for one or two practices. Can you get the varsity coach to make a guest appearance? I bet they'll act good for him/her. That might break the cycle long enough to give you a kick start to new habits.

Let us know how things go. I think we all really hope things get better.

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Jeff Haefner
http://www.BreakthroughBasketball.com


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 21:16 

Posts: 176
I feel for you -- a 5th and 6th grade assistant. I have no interest in disciplining someone else's unruly kids. What I basically do is use a "penalty box" -- if a kid is disruptive, disrespectful, etc., he sits out on the side until HE determines he is ready to behave and play. He is only hurting himself and his team. They can sit there all practice for all I care, as long as they are not disrupting my teaching. Good luck.


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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009, 22:12 
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I used to put kids on the track... sometimes they would stop and hide ( I knew that ) My AD told me one kid was hiding back there and I told him he can hide the rest of the practice if he wants.

Stay out of my face and we can have a good practice... I love your penatly box idea.


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PostPosted: 08 Dec 2009, 15:50 

Posts: 2
Thanks so much for the responses. I don't know these girls well enough yet to talk to them as an authority figure, I am still trying to figure out what drives them as individuals. I have no problem letting them know how I feel once that happens, but until then I don't want to come in and take any responsibilities from the coach. I am off to practice now and will try some new drills tonight. Hopefully we can get them all on the same page and start acting like a team. I will update soon.

Thanks again!!!

Tim


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