Ok little background here, I am a retired professional player of 11 yrs in the Premira League in Europe, I spent my first 3 yrs out of college bouncing from NBA to NBA team before finally blowing my knee out and heading to Europe to make a living. I have had the privilege of being taught by some of the greatest teaches in the game and currently I do private training for young elite athletes both boys and girls. I have recently move and relocated to a small town to escape the big city.

Now I have a daughter that is 14 yrs old and ranked in the top 150 incoming freshman in the nation, I have taught her well and her skill level for he age and height (6'3") are far beyond that of any kids her age let alone she could probably step in as a college freshman and contribute with no trouble. We play on a great national traveling team but what I am looking for advise is with this local high school crap!

1-Coaches that have no idea what the heck they are doing!
2-Have no idea how to teach kids the fundamentals that they need to start with and grow as a player.
3-Local players and their parents with the jealously issue toward my daughter because of her skill and attention that she is already drawing from major D1 colleges.

We have considered forgoing local high school ball altogether to just avoid these issue. What do I do to help my daughter survive is this small town BS?

More examples:
I have 3 girls that I work out that play on national traveling teams as well and are well on their way to signing next year to major D1 colleges yet their local high school coaches do not even use them as they could. How do you as a elite player go from averaging 16pts and 8 reb a game to 6 pts and 3 reb in a local high school...How???

I had one coach refuse to play a girl and she ended up hating ball and quitting and walking away from several offers! All because of here experience in these local high schools.

It is like there are groups of these coaches that are afraid of being exposed that they know nothing and should not be there and they do everything to hold on to these positions. Now I realize that coaching is tough and not everyone can coach and teach the game let alone proper fundamentals to grow on. But when you have seniors that can't sprint and dribble and finish left handed something is wrong.

So what do I do how do you change this crappy culture? I offer help and they everything that they can to look the other way and make excuses! What gives! I would love to help and train these kids to help teach them skills that they would not learn hear and even in college! Teaching the importance of fundamentals and how their entire growth will revolve around this learning. Not the bad habits that are being taught!

Please...please can someone shed some light on this before I just loose it!!!!!


B

This is not easy - there are good and bad coaches out there just like there are good and bad in every walk of life. It sounds like you and your daughter have found one of the coaches that is not too good.

Part of the problem is that you know way to much about the game for this person - you might come across as a threat to him/her. That's probably one reason why they wont take you on. To coach at the high school level you either have get a teaching degree or a coaching certificate. Some coaching jobs are political and they shouldn't have the job, but it is what it is.

I really don't think that there is an answer to your problem other than continuing to play on the national traveling team. I'm sure that you don't want to move again just for basketball.

You could let your daughter play on this school team and use it as a learning experience... aside from basketball. That's just a thought. You are right about teaching the fundamentals of the game, players/teams that are well versed in fundamentals will see success!

I'm sure that this is NOT the answer you were looking for, but that's the best I can come up with. I know that when I coached there were years that people thought I stunk as a coach, those were the years without shooters.... I was the next Bobby Knight when I had shooters, funny how this game works.

I wish you and your daughter well and that if she goes out for the team, she will have a good experience.

This must be extremely difficult for you and your daughter. Obviously there are trade off's moving to a smaller city and it appears you've run into one of them. You don't have to deal with the traffic, pollution, and crime, but you are limited on restaurants and high school choices.

Keep in mind you played professionally for 11 years and have been exposed to elite/club basketball for several more. Your perspective is going to be a lot different than most of the folks in that town I would imagine. I'm guessing none of them have played professional ball and have no clue what's out there in terms of club ball.

I'm betting some of the player's parents grew up there, went to school there and figured their daughter would be starting this year. Along comes your daughter at 6' 3", her dad is an ex-pro player and now their daughter doesn't look as good or maybe even sits on the bench.

If you plan on staying in this small town, you may have to try a different approach to win some of those folks over. Maybe offering FREE skill sessions on Saturdays for some of the high school players. Volunteering to keep the books or run the scoreboard during games.

What's that saying? "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Find some things the locals like to do (besides basketball) and try to establish some relationships.

One thing I would avoid is criticizing the coaches or the program. You don't want the word spreading around (which it will, quickly), that you don't like the local high school coaches or program. If the high school colors are yellow and purple, get some yellow pants and dye your hair purple.

If none of this makes sense, just watch a few episodes of Friday Night Lights and it will all come into focus.

Best of luck!

Thanks for the responses coaches, sorry if I am venting about this but I just can't stomach this much longer.
I have tried pretty much all your suggestions and it has not been received well I don't get it. I have offered to help work with the bigs on footwork in block area etc.......and it just gets shut down. I just don't understand......

Coach Sar hits the nail on the head, I am not looking to coach high school, I don't want their jobs. What is funny is that several of the girls were on my AAU team for 4 yrs, (which we also placed in the top 3 teams and won 2 championships) and are damn good players but just don't have the size to make it to the next level but have turned out to be very good HS players and they are claiming all their success. Were one of the coaches also coaches a AAU team in the same league and his girls have not improved (His teams never win more than 4 games a season).

What also kills me they don't understand where my daughter got all her skills and they seem amazed that she finishes more with her left hand than her right hand, They have watched us work out before bringing other to watch. Its so weird!

It is so frustrating I want nothing more than to help everyone improve not just my daughter, as you know basketball is so much more than just a game!

Coach Rob I have taken the approach, you know the saying, "Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer!" I have tried.

Now the things I am dealing with is that my daughter is getting frustrated on the court and she is talking more and more about it, I try and use it as a teaching point and how she can improve in other areas that will just make her that much better. My daughter is very quite and keeps to herself very much. I sometime wish she would voice her opinion more but maybe its better off.

I have to put up with this shit for four more years! I know that the grass is not always green on the other side and will try to make the best of it and make sure that my daughter continues to grow as a player and an individual. I can't wait for the summer and travel ball.


coaches thanks

B

I feel your pain!! More than you know. But unfortunately I think all you can do is train players the best you can, be there for them when they need you, and then let it go. Based on what I see and from my perspective, that's really all you can do.

The good news is that (believe it or not) it could be a good learning experience. And frankly this is life. So as a young person, you better get good at handle adversity and situations like this. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

I'd say be resilient as a young player and like you said, make the best of it. Don't let other people and your coach affect your attitude. You choose your attitude and how a coach affects you. Probably not what you want to hear, but as a personal trainer myself and a father, I have already mentally prepared myself for events like this. I know that the coach will not do things how I want and coach my kids the way I want. And I just hope my daughter applies the core values I have taught and uses her playing as an opportunity to grow,learn, and have as much fun as she can.

Here's an article that might be helpful:
http://strengthcoachblog.com/2012/11/20/youth-sports-prepare-the-child-for-the-path-not-the-path-for-the-child/

Ok, I will try this again. I had written a nice reply LOL... and I got booted.. maybe God was trying to tell me something.

Both Rob and Jeff gave you some sound advice and ideas. Maybe volunteer to run the clock, do the book or whatever else you might be able to do? Be part of the booster club?? ( whatever you do, keep it positive, word gets around in small towns )

I will repeat this part... You have probably forgotten more about the game than they will ever know. There are times I feel that way too... but, there are a lot of smart coaches out there.. some not so smart because they haven't had the opportunity to learn the game a little better?

This is going to be a great learning experience for your daughter ..... how to deal with adversity. Adversity REVEALS character. I know your daughter is young but its time for her to develop some leadership skills. That is probably the best way for her to get through this. The new kid in town will have some problems, its the way it goes. That's a shame because IF my team got a new kid and he was a player, they welcomed him with open arms.
Guess it doesn't work that way in your town.

Be friendly, helpful do a lot of leading by example... but above all, be a leader.

Ahh... but have you tried the yellow pants and purple hair trick yet? I'm telling you, it works every time.

My son is currently playing for his hs team; he also enjoys playing on his travel club team and will reconnect with them in the spring. Until then, I wear the yellow pants and volunteer where I can to help the team. The temptation to jump in and add my two cents on the coaching is strong sometimes. Fortunately, we have a good coach and I needed some new pants anyway.

From what you've described, you probably aren't going to change the way things are done in this smaller town. Once you've offered to help and it's been declined, there's not much left to do but sit back, try to relax and go along for the ride.

Besides, this will be the least of your worries once your daughter starts dating the 6' 8" starting senior forward.

I'm sure you are quite frustrated and I can completely understand why. I am a young coach for a high school, but have coached both AAU and now school basketball teams and have felt the same frustration as you watching some coaches. Obviously I have not had the same frustration in the fact that this is your daughter, but I have coached these AAU girls and utilized them in what I felt was the right way where they average 15-20 a game in AAU. Then go back to high school and maybe average 10 and seem to regress in their skills. I know the feeling of watching these coaches use the girls I've coached and think "What are you doing!?"

My advice to you is keep a cool head. I've met a few collegiate coaches and the wealth of knowledge they have about the game at times can baffle me. From the sounds of it and the sounds of your line of work you have the same knowledge. Sometimes that can be a curse. You know and you want to help, but these coaches for some reason see you as a threat and do not use a great resource like yourself. It is what is it is there isn't much you can do about that.

For you daughters sake, though, I don't necessarily think taking her out of high school basketball is a good thing. I think you would agree that playing and practicing are one thing, but game speed and game situations are great ways to learn and progress. This will be a great learning experience for your daughter. Not only for the aspect of basketball and learning how to deal with certain situation on the court, but also how to deal with things off the court. This will show her that sometimes in life you aren't given the best of situations, but you do what you need to and make the best of the situation you are dealt. Basketball presents us with a lot of life lessons as players and coaches and this may be a great lesson for your daughter to learn.

My opinion would be to keep her in high school basketball, but you as her father keep working her off the court too. Also, the national travel team will be a great thing to continue, but that and that alone is not necessarily the answer to your problems. There isn't really a right or wrong way to go here, but in my minuscule opinion there is a better one.

Good luck to you and your daughter. I hope it all turns out for the best!

I'll say this. Remember most high school coaches are drivers ed teachers (or similar). Coaching is not their primary responsibility. It is probably worse at the girls level as the better coaches will work with the boys.

So your daughter needs to decide if she wants to represent her school on the court. It isn't really about basketball but the high school experience. A lot of kids just really want to be part of their school team. The real basketball will take place on her aau team. That's what you need to worry about. Good luck.

I think this depends on the area you coach in. We have some really good coaches of girls teams around here.The HS experience is great by the way, there is so much to do and you get to meet a lot of different kids Hoepfully she will get some good coaching from both teams and have good experiences too.