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PostPosted: 03 Feb 2014, 20:15 
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I have always used this approach, criticize an individual in private, complement a great play in front of the entire team. This story goes back a few years, I had a wonderful player that eventually went onto star at the University of Montan. However, her father, a former track athlete at Michigan State, was a complete jerk. He was always on his daughter for one thing or the other. I had no reason, as a coach, to qkuestin her play but everything she did was never good enough for her blowhard father. One day we were playing a game in a small gym which prompted the father to stand behind our bench. that particular day, his onslought was non-stop. Sarah, what are you doing, Sarah what a stupid pass, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah..I finaly asked him to cool it, that he was making his kid nervous. He igored me and kept it up. I called a time out to ask the refs to get this guy from hehind my bench. As the players were coming over for the time-out, he was still talking to his daughter. She had the ball in her hand, and threw it, not at him but at me. She then ran off the floor crying. The father followed her into the dressing room then came out a few minutes later saying, "its ok, you will have a better player now"..Which prompted me to say, "I had a pretty good player before the incident. Following the game, I asked the player why she threw the ball at me. She said "I trusted you that you would not retaliate", if I threw it at my father, he would have beaten me up. I was shocked, to the point that i ended up reporting this person to childrens services. It prompted an investigation and I never knew the results but the father called me and was not happy he said he was pulling her off my team. The player refused to leave the team and I kepts her with the undersstanding that the father would be under a gag order. One negitive comment during games and he would be removed, it worked. he learned to shut up. NOw, maybe I shouldnt have brought in social services however, if a kids well being comes into quesiton something has to be done. More kids have been ruined by over bearing parents. Finally I have said to a parent, "I wont go to your office and tell you how to do your job, Please dont tell me how to do mine. Hope this helps Coach Mac


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PostPosted: 04 Feb 2014, 08:05 
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I guess we all have some stories like this.... Coaching a 6th grade team at the time.... this one guy sitting behind me overheard me say this one kids name.... so the whole game he is ..... XXXXXX this and that.... Finally I had enough, I called a time out... was talking to my team very calmly telling them what they needed to do..... and then I looked up at this guy and said... and whatever you do, don't listen to this jerk behind us. I was pretty young then... maybe 22 and IF I had that to do over again I wouldn't have done that..... but at least he got the message and stopped talking to my players... come on, they were 11-12?


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PostPosted: 04 Feb 2014, 19:15 
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Hi Ken: Just trying to clarify a time ....lets see, you were 22, was that during the Nailsmith era and waht was Phog Allen really like? Coach Mac


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PostPosted: 05 Feb 2014, 07:52 
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We were still using Peach Baskets ..... Funny thing I do remember was shooting at a bushel basket nailed to a telephone pole at my cousins house. Being a late bloomer I think my first jump shot came was when I was 16. My friend asked me when I got a jump shot.... told him... JUST NOW. Surprised me too.

Now that should take care of all the put downs on me... were you using double runners when you first started playing hockey? :-)


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PostPosted: 05 Feb 2014, 14:01 

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Peach baskets huh? I’m afraid I can’t top that one. Ken? Did you happen to see my personal e-mail to you on your aol account a few weeks back?

Since we’re telling a few yelling related stories, I’ll throw in a quick one. A few years back (7th grade), we were playing in a regional tournament. I had a kid on the team from a single parent home, dad wasn’t too involved in seeing games (in fact, he’d only been to one or two over the span of 30+ games that summer), but decided to show up to our tourney. Keep in mind we’re playing up a level, so the refs are letting the kids play a bit, but nothing out of the norm for a competitive tourney.

At the beginning of the 2nd qtr, this dad starts laying into the refs in a loud way. “Start calling fouls! This isn’t football!” type stuff. After listening to several of those and hearing it escalate, I call time out and tell my assistant to go tell this guy to chill. My assistant is a big guy 6’ 4” 210lbs, this guy is 5’9” 160lbs. Seems like it worked, for a short while as I didn’t hear anything from him. Midway through the quarter he moves closer to the floor and starts telling the refs he’s going to “pull his kid from the game because they can’t call it right” and other fun stuff. My assistant talks with him again and it seems to work. With 2 minutes left in the 2nd qtr, the other coach calls time out. My players come into the huddle and the next thing I know this guy is out in the middle of the court right in the refs face screaming at the top of his lungs. My assistant runs out and ushering him off to a corner of the gym with the guy jumping back at the refs like he’s ready to fight. The refs come to me and tell me I’ll get T’d up if I don’t get him under control.

A few seconds later, he yells some type of racial slur at one of the refs and they eject him from the game. I get a T and my assistant has to escort him past our bench and parents, then along their bench and parents. Of course, some of their parents start yelling stuff at him, he yells more racial slurs, guys are starting to threaten to come out of the stands. Nasty scene.

I ended up apologizing to the other coach. Told him the guy never comes to games and I didn’t see it coming at all.

I was going to have a come to Jesus meeting with him, but he never showed up again. Felt bad for his son who had to finish the game after that whole debacle. Mom was embarrassed and kept apologizing. Fortunately, we had some cool kids and parents who handled as well as anyone could.

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CRob


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PostPosted: 05 Feb 2014, 14:16 
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Rob -

I replied to that e mail twice... didn't you get it ? If not, please send something to me again and I will try and make sure that you get it. I hope your son is doing alright now. But get back to me.... I was going to try and e mail you again to see how things are going. Let me know how things are going Rob.

The reason that you cant top Coach Mac and I is very simple... We are like 3 years older than you. LOL

As for the gentleman this was/is out of control.... the director of the league needs to let him know that he is NOT welcome at any more games for the remainder of the year. Its a shame, I feel bad for his son and all the kids that have to witness that type of behavior. He is lucky that the refs didn't press charges for assault.


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