Hey All - Sorry for the long post...maybe just need to vent :( I can see after writing this message that I need to have another coach's meeting. In the end I may have to pull myself and my Son from the team. I know he loves the practice and is proud to play for his school, so continuing would be his call unless I see real safety issues with the coaches. We work on FUNdamentals at home in the back yard.

I am one of three parent volunteer coaches for a third grade boys team, playing up to 4th grade league. We do not have a 4th grade caliber team at all, but we get gym time so practices are available weekly and we can improve. Our practices are not really what I think they should be. I have decided to sit back and observe so I can maybe provide feedback if asked.

I am having a hard time getting past an issue I have with our head coach and the other assistant coach. Head coach designated himself such and I think has become a puppet of the other assistant coach (a slip/fall lawyer). I have made the point that I insist all players get equal time and thought we had worked out that our best *really? in 3rd grade?* players start the game and end the game. It took one game to get out of that setup.

The two other coaches have decided there is a starting team comprised of our "best" players, and these players also go in the 4th quarter. Tuesdays game saw the entire second half with the starting 5 in the game against a team leading at the half 32-12. I guess they're trying to create chemistry with the 4 best ball handlers(not ball handlers yet IMO)??? Its not working at all. The lawyer coach is a real ass and thinks his kid is the second coming. He's REALLY hard on him. You can see it in his face during games and practice...there's no fun about it for that kid. His Dad rides him all game. Sad part is, he's not very good. He plays point (rolls eyes.."of course"), and looks at the ball bringing it up the court, dribbles right-handed only. His Dad is smothering him. I make the point that any of our kids can dribble down the court and dish to another player, lets give it a try. "NO! They cannot handle the ball, what would happen? I am told people in this area of town have the expectation to win. In a third grade play-up team they can kiss my *. One game we were beaten 48 - 4. They cheated the scoreboard to look a bit better,

We have one player who can dribble pretty well without looking at the ball. EVERYONE else (9 kids) all look at the ball when they dribble. When moving left they dribble right-handed. A couple kids catch a pass and run 6 or 7 steps before dribbling. One kid wont pass at all. Most of the others barely know how. One kid is scared to death of competition. A loose ball in a game sees him backing away with his hands out. This last kid I think should probably not be on the court, but hey' at that age, let him decide for himself. Our practice scrimmages are 5 on 5. I suggested 3 on 3. "No, that's not real".

Should I step aside as coach and let these two run the team improperly? My opinion has been made clear, objections noted, and duly dismissed. From what I read here and what I know about basketball, we're still missing a big part of early basketball learning. We do not have any team building. Our practice has no warm ups. We START with suicide and laps, no stretching. We do dribbling exercises and I have not once heard the other coaches say "head's up! Look up!". Kids just run down the court top speed dribbling however they feel like it. That, to me, is starting and reinforcing bad habits. At least they're getting exercise though.

One night early-season we co-practiced with the other true 4th grade team(we have two). It was mostly scrimmage time 5 on 5 with our "starters". The other kids were stuck on the sidelines, so I took them and did an hour of basic dribbling workouts down the sideline. At the end of the practice the self-proclaimed head coach asked (I think) what I thought of the practice. I told him it was the worst practices I have ever seen.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

I'm sure that's pretty frustrating. But unfortunately it's fairly common in what you see with youth basketball.

I'd make the best of it. As a player you learn from good situations and the bad situations. Stick it out.

Maybe next season you can start a team. It depends on where you live, but the challenging part is that next year some of the 4th grade teams will start getting pretty competitive. Around here we can find less competitive leagues and games. And some kids are just getting started around the 4th-6h grade age. So you just have to find the right leagues/games.

I coach my daughters 3rd grade team. Boys are a little stronger and better than girls. But when it comes to it, gender does matter... it's still basketball.

We mostly play 3on3 and some 4on4. I just invite other teams to play us. It can be hard and some coaches refuse to play us because "it's not 5on5". Since games are harder to schedule now, next year as 4th graders my plan is to have a mix of 5on5 and 3on3 games. We'll play in a few 5on5 games, maybe a tournament or two, and then also try to get in some 3on3 tournaments. We played in one during November and it was great for our girls.

For practices, last night we did 2 ball dribbling for about 15 minutes playing different games and making it fun. Then we worked on change of direction moves with 1 ball. Then we played 1on1 full court advancement. Divided into 3 groups so there was little down time. Then same drill but left hand dribble only. Then we did some basic form shooting learning our "set position". Then jump stop lay ups. Then 4on4 scrimmage (only 1 player was out and we subbed her) learning some defense and offense while they scrimmaged. First to score 2 baskets wins. That way it's higher energy and quicker games.

So I can see your frustration. I obviously have a different philosophy when it comes to practices. But I'm not sure what you can do about changing what another coach wants to do. I would consider sending the coaches a friendly email with this link letting them know this is a good place to get drills, ideas, etc.
http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/youthbasketball.html

Forgot to add... that way if they read some of these ideas from our site, it's not coming from you. And they might think it's their own idea to do things different. That's the best thing that can happen. The coaches need to believe it's their own idea instead of getting influenced from a parent/coach.

Jeff gave you some great advice.....

Here is my take ........... its funny ( not really ) how I am reading more and more posts like yours from parents where their kids are going through the same thing Pretty frustrating to say the least. These are 3rd graders, NOT playing for the NBA championship.

I do have to say this to you.... IF you attack his ways of doing things, he will turn you off and you will get no where. There probably wont be a next time that he asks you about the practice... but IF he does ( OR you can sit down and think about this with a clear mind ) tell him, let me think about this and I will e mail you with a response... or you could call him... I like the e mail better because you can take something out of the e mail IF you don't like it... once you say it, you own it. Try to get rid of the anger and just think rationaly, you will get a lot further.

Sit back and think of some of the things that you disagree with... come up with suggestions on how to correct it. Whatever you do, don't attack him, thats the fastest way to end your relationshiip.

If I were you, the first thing I would talk about would be GOALS. What is it that the program is designed to do. I can tell you what it should be.... FUNDAMENTALS ... A LOT of fundamentals and then let them have fun. A successful team is one that is fundamentally sound.... AT ANY LEVEL. Then they need to have FUN... these are little kids.

Another GREAT idea Jeff gave you is send him the link to this site. He will hear from several coaches that have a lot of experience. There is also a wealth of information here.... all for the taking. Another thing you can do now is to e mail him... eat a little crow, apologize and then come up with a few ideas. Try to build a good relationship with him if you are going to get anywhere. Seriously, IF you came on to me like that I would never listen to you... Hang in there and come up with some good ideas.. use the KISS method, these are young kids.

Just to add this.... your goal with these kids should be to get them ready to play at the next level and help them develop a love for the game.

Here is a great link to some DVD/s by Bob Bigrlow.... "how to coach Youth Basketball"

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/store/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=31&cat=Coaching+Youth+Basketball

I hope this helps.

I love Breakthrough Basketball!! You guys exhibit amazing patience with the coaches/parents looking for advice. And for those coaches/parents who want to learn something, LISTEN to what these guys say. They are on top of the game, the skills and how to improve.

Having said that, time is short. These young kids are like sponges. They want to learn, they want to improve, they will almost universally do their very best. So the model in front of them is CRITICAL. He's the teacher. And, if as many recent posts have addressed, this teacher doesn't know what he's doing (!) with YOUR kid no less, that's a problem.

Our organization, Basketball Basics, I think has the right model. Parents are NOT allowed to participate in ANY manner whatsoever other than spectating. They are not allowed to coach, they may not make comments other than positive cheering and they are not allowed to question our approach. It may seem dictatorial, but we are benevolent dictators! We always refer to Coach Wooden, whose favorite 4 letter word was "Love." You must be CAPABLE and LOVING. If a parent has a problem with what we are doing or our approach, in a discreet manner we tell that parent his kid may not participate. End of story. This has happened dozens of times, but not to any of our 59 program grads now playing college basketball (7 at D-1)

OK so this approach is unusual and currently only exists in Michigan. What about your kid or team in wherever you are located? What do you do when confronted with these problems? Let me suggest 2 issues to consider.

1. Who is the coach? Is he a healthy role model and mentor? Is he a positive influence on your child? Basics has a Committee for Coaching Excellence made up of some fine local and state coaches who know the game. We posed this question: how many coaches are negative, poor models for the kids? (NOT BB skills now, adult, mature behavior with your kid. A patient coach, understanding, caring, engaged) We arrived at roughly 60% of the youth coaches are NOT positive role models. (1 committee member thought it was MUCH higher, like 90%) Forget basketball or whatever the sport or endeavor is: we are pretty sure parents would choose NOT to have their kid involved at ALL in this setting if the coach was known to be a poor role model. I certainly would. So my kid doesn't learn to play BB? So what? He also (in this instance) won't be exposed to the unhealthy tendencies this coach(es) stands for.

2. Is there an organization in the area that focuses on strong skill development FIRST and competition second? Not only is it not impossible to offer this approach, it's not very difficult to focus on Skills first but still compete. The competition however should be almost exclusively INTERNAL. No travel, no leagues, no bright lights. Coach Sar hits it right all the time. "This isn't the NBA." Amen. Find a coach you trust, who is a calm and mature model who hopefully has some understanding of the game's skills and HOLD ON TIGHT. Treat that guy well. Don't hassle that coach, if he exists. Forget the leagues, save your $$ and just work on the skills, scrimmaging all the time.

There is a time to compete, the big question is WHEN? Go to our League Fatigue Newsletter to learn when. Unless you have some extraordinarily skilled player, it's 7th grade or even 8th grade. http://www.mybasketballbasics.com/bb/newsletter/leaguefatigue


Quick note. Baseball and football are HIGHLY MANAGED games. Incredibly organized with high levels of coaching and strategy. There is management and decision making CONSTANTLY. Basketball is literally the OPPOSITE. It is chaos, unmanageable. We don't know what's going to happen from 1 moment to the next. The biggest problem I see is parents and coaches with baseball and football backgrounds trying to coach basketball. You can not organize your way to success in BB. Wooden's 3 essential facts about winning (in order): Conditioning, Understanding the Team Concept and mastering the fundamentals of the game.

I just want to add my experience as a parent. After my older son who is 11 year now in 5th grade struggled for several seasons, I hired a private trainer for him. That's because I realized that basketball team is not where you 'learn' the skills and it's where you 'show' your skills. He didn't learn much from the team though he started to play as 2nd grader when he joined the teams. Every season, he was assigned a different coach (who I appreciate spending their valuable time without pay). The coaches (who themselves were volunteers) just talked about 'strategies' and plays in practice. My son ended up running to exact same spot and standing there every time as #5 because he is relatively tall.
Pretty much every team here is run like that (plays/strategies). For example, a guy who is tall will #5 just standing on the low block regardless skill level. This guy is not even shown proper moves for #5. He is just told you are #5 and get in that position. A guy who is short and can do some dribble will always be the point guard. Equal play time is not on anybody's mind. If the team has 10 players, your kid either has to be really good or coach's son to get good play time.

You pretty much have to work on your kid's skills yourself or hire a trainer. Your kid goes to the practices and games to 'show' the skills not to 'learn' skills.

My my, how things have changed since I played the game as a nine or ten year old....coaching disputes, ego problems, personal trainers. This game used to be so simple, a pair of five dollar Chuck Taylors, a couple of bucks for a t shirt socks and a pair of shorts, and of coure the ever necessity Jock strap and we played. We passed the ball, we cought the ball and we shot the ball. We are talking about 9 and 10 year old kids here not college or pro or even high school;. You are geting beat by thirty points something is lacking so forget about the winning and the conflicts between coaches and teach the kids the fundametals of the game. All of you put your egos in your back pockets, for the sake of the kids. Your never going to get back to the five dollarChuckies, but learning to enjoy the game and having fun is never lost.. For the sake of the kids, get over yourselves. Coach Mac

I want to add this, I must agree with Ken Sars, as a head coach if you ever said that to me, I would shut you off, and by the way, did you consult with the head coach to run the fundamental dribblinbg drils on the sidelines? or did you just doi it.....Although I dont agree with whats hapening with this team manegerially, he is still the head coach, self proclaimed or not, and deserves to be consulted. Coach Mac

Where are my Converse's when I need them? :-) Thanks for the kind words Coach Mac, I should hire you as my PR director. By the way, you forgot about the Peach Basket. LOL

I think I should have said this before also.... find a way to rebuild your relationship by starting out with some positive things ... use the sandwich technique..... maybe 2 or 3 good things before you go negative on him.... and then 2 or 3 more good things.