I coach a rep team boys team of U12 in Ontario Canada. 2 years ago as a house league coach, I started to start a rep team. I did evaluations and put together a team. The team for 2 years worked hard, played hard and saw huge improvement in skills. This week I was hit with a bombshell. A soccer coach in a nearby town decided he wanting to start a rep team in the same age group. He actively pursued 3 of my best players for 2 months and they decided to play for this new team. The parents have said it's nothing personal and the kids made this decision. I'm not that kind of coach that poaches kids from other teams and destroys teams.

I live in a small town and by rules I have to 12 members on my team. It will be a difficult task. How many of you have gotten poached or the poacher?

I coached at the high school level for 27 years and never had that happen to me. The private schools around here can recruit, so that is just part of the game. But no one that I know of stole a kid of a team he was already playing on. During my coaching career, the biggest problem was teams practicing before it was legal. I told my AD about this and he was not going to allow me to hold OPEN GYMS. I explained this to him... that it took us to after Christmas to catch up with some of these schools..... he said, " aren't you happy that you are playing by the rules?"
I just told him tht I didn't like seeing my kids being beat up by cheates. It was a great learning experience for them.

Lately, I have seen a few guys go after a player from other schools... that is about as low as one can get as far as I am concerned. AND, at your level it is even worse!!!

IF I were you, I wouild talk to those 3 boys (along with their parents) and ask them why they wanted to change teams. Make sure that you make them feel comfortable.... you don't want to come across as mad or a bully to them, they are just kids. Use that information (if you get any) to make sure that doesn't happen again. Who knows, they might change their minds but that wouldn't be my purpose tor talking to them.

This is a lesson learned.... keep tabs on your kids. Have some off season meetings... fun stuff too. Make it so they WANT to be on your team. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm not so sure that I wouldn't have a conversation with this guy.

I can feel your frustration. However, at the youth level, it happens all of the time... I think everywhere. I've had kids that I coach do the same thing. It really doesn't bother me much. If they want to switch teams or if they think their is a situation better for them, they should be able to choose that option. Maybe my coaching style doesn't fit them very well? Maybe the kids I coached went to a better coach or better team?

A lot of coaches do the same things to players. They will drop a few kids and get "better" players.

Also having other programs/coaches wanting players on my team keeps me on my toes. I better do a good job.

I do have a problem with kids quitting during the middle of the season, though. I believe that when you make commitments, you should adhere to them.

Thank you both for the unique perspectives. Coach Sar, I did do some activities over the summer. I kept in connect with the team most of the summer. I think that being 11 year old boys wanting to make a "super team", the boys and their parents have drank the cool aid. Coach Joe, I personally never approached players on another team to get them to come to my team. If they inquire on their own, that's a different story. You are right, players can move to other situations that best fit their situations. I don't believe in poaching players at 11 years. I believe if the player's skills are developing and they are enjoying themselves, what's the harm?

Maybe I'm just desensitized to people trying to take players because I see so much of it.

It is also a 2-way street though. The parents and the players made the decision to go with the other team. We're not having this forum discussion if they didn't make that choice.

At the same time, would I be happy about it? Absolutely not. I think you have every reason to be ticked off but I wouldn't dwell on it. The kids who are with you want to be there and they deserve your attention, not the other people who went elsewhere.

This is kind of a left-turn, but should we even use the word poach when talking about these topics? I know that I've used the same terminology in the past.

The word poach has a lot of emotion attached to it. Poach is associated with illegal killing of animals and stealing somebody's property. I see this done in politics all of the time to toy with people's emotions.

Unfortunately, this happens all the time in my area. I've seen it where other coaches actively recruit players on your team but I think most of the time it is parent driven, especially when a rump group of kids leaves all at once. Many times it is an effort to create a "super" team somewhere else with a hand-picked coach chosen by the rebel parents.. It is almost always done sneakily and without consideration for what the impact will be on the team (great life lesson to teach their kids!!!).

When I started youth coaching I had this naive view that I would have a group of boys play together for 5 years with hardly any roster changes and then hand them off to the HS coaches ready to play and compete for the State Championship a couple years later! How quaint and naive I was!

In a lot of ways youth sports in a microcosm of our society. Kids jump ship (or get cut) mirrors at the bigger level the employee that ditches his company (or gets laid off when the 4th quarter earnings targets aren't met) just after he completes the training program. Everyone is out for themselves in the end and loyalty in either direction counts for little.

I am not discounting that there are very valid reasons in some cases for departures -- better playing time, more convenient practices, playing on a better team, focusing more on an another sport etc. I just had a boy leave for one of these reasons and he left in an above-board way with my best wishes. Despite some changes I still have a core group that has been with the team for nearly three years. I will probably lose a couple more before the hand-off to HS comes. C'est la vie.

I wish it weren't quite this way but I have come to accept it and try to focus on doing the best job I can with the kids I got.

Tough one. Been through that a few times, but nothing real harsh. Just a few kids wanting to play on another team because the "grass looked greener" type thing. Most of them ended up coming back around. My take is if the kids/parents really don't want to be on my team, then so be it. I've always relied on the, "if you build it, they will come" philosophy and some folks just might not dig what you're building sometimes.

Reading this again tells me one thing.... PARENTS want to WIN more than they want their kids to get better and be able to play at the next level. Go ahead and win 40 games and when you don't make the high school team or get passed by because some other kids have better skills you will know what we are talking about.

Here's a progress report. I only returning 4 out of 12 boys on my team. I picked up 8 new boys to play on my team. No real experience except for some house league. The boys were very eager to learn and hard work. We competed well and the boys gelled. They had great support for each other on and off the court. They were slapping hands coming on and off court, 1 or 2 boys were helping someone uo from the floor, etc. I feel that this year was fun because I was teaching basketball at its most basic roots and the boys ate up everything we taught them.

What seems like a tragedy 8 months ago turned into a pleasurable experience for my boys, their parents, and me.

Boom! There you go. And the bonus? You probably made more of an impact on those boys than you'll know. It's a funny thing this youth basketball deal, when you do the right things, everyone usually has a good time.

Thanks for the update!