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PostPosted: 04 Oct 2011, 08:46 

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My 13 year old daughter is having trouble with the mind set to take the ball and score more. She has always been an unselfish player and passes up opportunities for herself and gives to her teammates - even though the coach has told her she is to go score. How do i make my daughter understand that to improve hergame she must take charge and think to score more.

Thanks Coleman10mom


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PostPosted: 04 Oct 2011, 12:55 
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This might be a little difficult and a touchy subject for a parent to have with their child. Ideally this is probably better to come from a coach. You certainly don't want to discourage her great teamwork and unselfishness. So I would be a little careful.

With that said, it all depends. Does she pass the ball because she's afraid to miss? Does she pass because she's afraid she'll make a teammate mad? Is she afraid she'll look like ball hog? Does she pass out of habit? Is she afraid to make a mistake? I she worried about getting her shot blocked and embarrassed?

I think you need to ask some questions to find out. It could be a fear of failure (missing the shot). Once you determine what's happening you could potentially address the issue or situation.

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PostPosted: 04 Oct 2011, 14:29 
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I agree, this should come from the coach..... like Jeff said, sit down and talk to your daughter, try to find out what is going on inside her head...... if that is possible.

This has to be a very light type of conversation.... IF she thinks that she is being pressured, it could make it worse. Ask her how she thinks the team is going? Then how do you think you are doing?

Good luck on this one.


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PostPosted: 04 Oct 2011, 15:23 

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Thank you both. I will have an easy convo with her. And just let her Coach handle this situation.


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PostPosted: 04 Oct 2011, 15:31 
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One thing I think is important is for your daughter to learn mistakes are OK. This should come from a coach and parents too. Numerous books and studies (The Talent Code, etc,etc) back this up. Here are a couple articles about it.
http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/blog/index.php/improve-your-basketball-mentality-learn-from-derrick-rose/

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/Watch-What-You-Teach.html

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PostPosted: 05 Oct 2011, 13:56 
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Location: New Britain, CT.
I've coached boys and I've coached girls. This is just a genetic thing in girls when it comes to sports....especially basketball. They are always so unselfish....they wanna be a team player. They really don't care if they are top scorer....they just want to have fun and play hoop with their teammates!! One time I told my daughter to shoot more so she can score more.....something was very capable of doing. She was so happy just to run the fastbreak and distribute the ball. She said, "Dad, I shouldn't care about scoring, I had 6 assists...didn't you tell me that an assist is just as important as an basket?"....yep...I got told.

Boys, however, want to be top scorer. They want to shoot!! Most boys will never pass up any shot from anywhere. Boys come to me after a game asking me how much they scored. Girls NEVER come to me after a game to ask how many points they had. There's your difference!!

Keep reinforcing that she should not pass up open shots, always take that wide open layup and drive the lane if it is open.

As long as she is having fun, learning the game, getting better and comfortable with her role...just sit back and enjoy watching her!!!


Good Luck,
Coach A


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