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PostPosted: 31 Oct 2014, 12:36 

Posts: 56
Well, first drama since my son made into the select team. My friend who is really good at basketball went to watch practice of the team. Towards the end of the game, his coach let them play 1 on 1. My son (new comer) is good at 1 on 1 but lacks teams skills He ended up beating both of the top two players on the team.

At end of the practice, my friend told t my son that he was the best on the team in a way to encourage him. He didn't mean to put down other kids. Like you have uncle or grandma., of course they think their boy is the best.
Besides, those kids were not even in front of him. It was supposed to be a private conversation. But it was overheard by one player's Mom (whose son got beaten). She stormed to tell the parent of the other kid. she also told her kid and the other kid. Then she went on and talked to coach. I don't know what was said. I later explained to coach and coach seems fine about it. For whatever she told coach, I told him my side of the story.

But after all those kids are with the coach for quite a few years and very close to coach and my son is just a new comer.

I don't plan to explain to that parent. In my opinion she acted childishly especially coach is fine with it. She wasn't even supposed to listen to private conversations and should have stepped away.

when my boy was beaten 0 to 10 at the gym, I kept bringing him back to play with the same kid for my son to get better. I don't understand why she was so upset because my son beat her son and it was my son's fault.

In the meantime, I don't want this become an issue that impacts kid's team work. Any suggestions?

How do you guys handle this type of issues sensitively? Or as a coach, do you see this type of drama among parents and what you think about it?

PostPosted: 31 Oct 2014, 12:52 
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Posts: 1279
As a parent all you can do is to teach your child character. You can't control the other parents and/or players. So you let it go and do what you can to teach your child humility, kindness, loyalty, honesty, etc etc.

Any normal coach will judge a kid based on his actions, not based on what others say about them. So it's not a big deal. Probably not the first time this parent has jumped off the handle about something trivial. So the coach probably takes those comments with a grain of salt.

Jeff Haefner

PostPosted: 31 Oct 2014, 14:50 
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Posts: 3139
Unfortunately its part of the gig. That is the porblem with youth sports.... the parents

I knew a coach that was going thru this.... finally at the next game, to start the game he put 10 players on the floor.... the ref told him he couldn't do that...... coach told the ref, they are my starters, The ref the handed out 5 Ts.... the coach turned to the parents and said, "see, I told you I could only play 5 at a time." :-)

PostPosted: 31 Oct 2014, 17:53 

Posts: 900
Good advice from both Jeff and Sar (funny story btw Ken).

I subscribe to the motto: let the player's play, the coach's coach and the ref's ref. Unfortunately, some parents can't do that.

There will be plenty of other opportunities in practice for those two boys to shine and I'm sure they will. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. One piece of advice, give encouragement to the boys when it's seem appropriate. I had a dad on my team that was very skilled at encouraging kids other than his. As long as the other parents see that you're cheering their kids on, you should be fine.

Welcome to the world of select basketball.

On a side note, I like what you said about having your son play against better players. Keep doing that. Have him work on his weak hand a lot (dribbling, passing, lay-ups). It will pay off in the long run.


PostPosted: 31 Oct 2014, 19:31 

Posts: 56
Thanks for all the advices, coaches.
Actually my son has a long way to go. He needs team skills to shine. Beating people 1 on 1 is one thing. But translating that in to team result is another thing. As in an early post, he is still actually trying to earn his play time.
But I'm fairly confident that he will get there eventually given that he is a well-rounded player.

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