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PostPosted: 21 Feb 2013, 10:18 

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This pertains to basketball in a round about sort of way. I have a son who I also coach, that is somewhat above the other kids ability. All bias put aside. He has been practicing and playing with 6th-7th-8th and 9th grade AAU teams since 5th grade. Practicing and scrimmaging with all ages combined and playing since 5th grade with the 7thgrade team and now with the 8th grade team. He is now in the 7th grade. My problem is he knows he is better. He is over confidant. To the point of arrogance. And he thinks he is the next Lebron. He actually asked me if he should go all Lebron on me and wants to switch to a different school where the rest of the team is good enough to play great ball, such as "him". And he thinks the NBA is going to be begging for his talents as soon as he is old enough. Now this would be laughable. Except for the fact that this is the view he has of himself. Confidence is good. Arrogance is not. I\'ve always tried to instill the confidence. But at the same time to be humble. To let his game speak for itself. But he continues to brag. He also blames the ref's ala Sam Cassell. But this last weekend took the cake. Tournament-wins to get us to championship round- League game where he played bad, blamed the officiating, his team, Showed bad sportsmanship. You name it. I didn't even want to ride in the same car home I was so ticked. Then on to the championship game where he had a great all around game. Lead exchanging back and forth the whole second half. Best 7th grade game I have been to, and of the team I coach but we lost players to fouls and had to finish out the last 2 min with 3 players against their 5 and lost by 1. I get to the locker room and he is saying that we should throw the 2nd place trophy in the trash as well as the individual medals. That their garbage etc. Sorry for the long intro but I wanted you to get the full picture. Is this common with talented kids? Will he grow out of it,because I'm thinking professional help is needed. Am I exaggerating the issue as well as the solution. I just don't know what to do with this kid. Don't get me wrong he is otherwise a great kid.An A - student etc. My hope is that as he matures this arrogant side of him will disappear. And he will become more humble. I'm just at a loss on what to do and any advice on this issue would be appreciated. Exasperated in Milwaukee. Thanks Gary


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PostPosted: 21 Feb 2013, 11:08 
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Gary -

grwoodsman1 wrote:
And he thinks he is the next Lebron. He actually asked me if he should go all Lebron on me and wants to switch to a different school where the rest of the team is good enough to play great ball, such as "him". And he thinks the NBA is going to be begging for his talents as soon as he is old enough.


As I read this I started to laugh.... "go Lebron on You?" He really thinks a lot of himself doesn't he? I remember several years ago an 8th grade kid signed with U of Indiana / Bobby Knight. The kids name was Damon Bailey, he was a good Jr high and high school player... probably an average college player. There was headline in one paper, ( Or this could have been a joke. ) "Damon Bailey signs with Indiana, will choose a high school at a later date" This was pretty funny, but the sad part was ALL the PRESSURE that was put on him.

Tell your son to enjoy his youth, before he knows it he will be a senior in high school. TIME FLIES!

grwoodsman1 wrote:
He also blames the ref's ala Sam Cassell. But this last weekend took the cake. Tournament-wins to get us to championship round- League game where he played bad, blamed the officiating, his team, Showed bad sportsmanship. You name it. I didn't even want to ride in the same car home I was so ticked.


As for this behavior.... A SPOT ON THE BENCH WILL CHANGE THAT. You can NOT allow him to act that way... I don't care how good he is. You might have a little talk with him about this and IF he continues to act that way, he will get some bench time.

grwoodsman1 wrote:
1. I get to the locker room and he is saying that we should throw the 2nd place trophy in the trash as well as the individual medals. That their garbage etc.

I wonder what his teammates are thinking about him??? This is really unacceptable... He is going to run into a coach that will NOT take that behavior and SIT his BUTT. Someone might show him the door. I know I would sit him and I had an asst. that when he was a head coach, he sat his best player many times.

This is all about teaching him character and class. You win with class and you lose with class. Bad refs or not. They make mistakes just like players and coaches do. REMIND him of that. He is NOT perfect and no one espects him to be perfect. He needs to run into a coach that will sit him, bottom line. I'm glad he is a good student because that is what will take him somewhere in life. Lebron is one BAD knee injury away from working for a living..... look at D Rose. He is working his way back but its not an easy road.

How tall is your son?

grwoodsman1 wrote:
Am I exaggerating the issue as well as the solution. I just don't know what to do with this kid. Don't get me wrong he is otherwise a great kid.An A - student etc. My hope is that as he matures this arrogant side of him will disappear. And he will become more humble. I'm just at a loss on what to do and any advice on this issue would be appreciated.


This behavior will continue as long as its allowed. Being confident is great.... actling like a jerk is NOT. Notice I didn't say he was a jerk, I said ACTING like a jerk. Funny, he is a great kid in school, A student and a good kid at home....Ask him what he would do if he couldn't play Bball?

I was a varsity coach and I have seen them all come and go..... one day I was watching out Frosh B team play and the other team had this little kid who was darn good..... my way of thinking, he should be on the A team. I talk to one of their coaches and I told thim that don't worry about a Point guard in a year or two.... I found yours. He told me NO WAY, HE'S A JERK..... Family problems too. Well, two years later, he is now the starting point guard...an entirely different attitude... like he did a 180 - almost an introvert. But he sure could play.... so, hopefully, your son will run into a coach that will put him in his place and teach him what is acceptable behavior. IF you have another year of coaching him.... you might try showing him the bench once in awhile. GOOD LUCK, I hope things work out for both of you.


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PostPosted: 21 Feb 2013, 12:32 
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Gary -

I was just thinking about this..... ask your son IF he would want the high school coach to see him act that way?

Or, maybe you can introduce him the boys Varsity head coach... for a little conversation? Ask him what he looks for in his players.

Just a thought.


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PostPosted: 22 Feb 2013, 01:35 

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grwoodsman1 wrote:
Showed bad sportsmanship. You name it. I didn't even want to ride in the same car home I was so ticked.
Without getting too personal, how did you handle that situation? Trying to get a feel of how you've dealt with this type stuff in the past (assuming this isn't the first time an incident like this has happened).

Quote:
Don't get me wrong he is otherwise a great kid.An A - student etc. My hope is that as he matures this arrogant side of him will disappear. And he will become more humble. I'm just at a loss on what to do and any advice on this issue would be appreciated.
Tough situation as a lot of coaches would kill for a talented and confident player like your son, without the attitude of course. If he's an "A" student, I can see why he wouldn't want to settle for 2nd place. Makes sense. Sounds like your son has a lot of drive and competitiveness which will help him succeed later on in life.

The obvious roadblock is how he handles defeat and his own abilities around others. I think Coach Sar is correct when he says your son will run into a coach that will have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him. Not sure how well you know the local high school coaches, but I like Ken's idea of involving a local high school coach.

Hard to give advice because every parent has their own set of unique dynamics when it comes to raising their kids. If that was my son, he'd be sitting out of the next game or games. We'd also be having a serious talk about his bragging and his actions/words after that championship game. I'd make it crystal clear that there are more important things than winning a basketball game.

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PostPosted: 22 Feb 2013, 09:26 
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Why don't you and your son watch this together -

http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/helping-others.html?utm_source=MailingList&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=71


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PostPosted: 22 Feb 2013, 12:55 

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Thanks for the input. I have tried alot of what has been offered up here. Thats why I was wondering if others that have seen this , have seen them grow out of it. As for school, yes a A student, a few B's here and there. But I think some of the kids are starting to turn on him, because of this attitude. Maybe that will help, I hope so. But still worried in Milw. Thanks Gary P.S. I will let you know if the situation gets better. And if others have some input that may help, I'm all ears. Thanks again


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PostPosted: 22 Feb 2013, 13:29 
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http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/212-leadership/?cm_mmc=ExactTarget-_-FR-_-02.22.13-_-TTLDmovie&j=56157&e=sars300@aol.com&l=3516_HTML&u=3333410&mid=7001668&jb=18


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PostPosted: 25 Feb 2013, 08:40 
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This is something I was thinking about this morning.... whiile your son and I disagree about who is the best player... I think of Michael Jordon... he has SIX RINGS.

Ok, MJ was a great player, even before the rings... BUT, he didn't win a championship until Phil Jackson convinced him to get the rest of his teammates involved in the game... only then did he and the Bulls start winning Championships.

Lebron didn't do squat until those 3 guys decided that they would pick where and who they would play for...
I think Lebron is a great player... getting better every year.... but until just lately, I thought he was/is an A #! jerk.
Lets see where his career takes him.

Your son should try and emulate MJ and not Lebron... at least not yet.... maybe in a few years Lebron will show more class and be a GREATER player than he is right now.


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