Two weeks ago, we ran an article on The Hidden Benefits Of Multi-Sport Participation For Youth Athletes.

The article prompted a lot of reader response. Thank you to all who responded.

It's clear this is a challenging issue for a lot of parents. We all want to do right by our kids.

Unfortunately, there's no road map for how to do that when it comes to balancing multiple sports.

One of the questions readers asked was how we navigate the challenges of multi-sport participation with our own children.

Read on to get two perspectives on how to approach this.

I'll share what my family does with our daughters (grades 3 and 6).

Then, Joe Haefner, co-founder and owner of Breakthrough Basketball, as well as a father of three, will share his thoughts.

By no means do we have it all figured out. That said, hopefully there is something you can take from our experiences that can benefit you and your child as you go through the youth sports experience.

If you have some philosophies and ideas that have worked for you, please share them with us. We'd love to hear from you!

Jeff Huber's Response:

If my wife and I had a dollar for every conversation we've had about how to balance our daughters' sports, we'd be living pretty good right now!

It's a constant give and take. I think accepting that reality has helped us. Try as we might, there's never going to be a magic formula for how to handle this.

That said, I know some families say we are going to do one sport per season. In the fall, it might be soccer, volleyball or football. In the winter, it's basketball or hockey. In the spring, it's baseball or softball.

If that works for you, that's awesome. It makes this issue simpler and is a clear principle for how you make decisions.

We have not done that. Why not? There's a couple of reasons.

First, our girls want to continue playing their sports (to varying degrees) beyond the actual "season." It's important to note the desire to continue playing comes from them, not us.

We do not force them to play. However, we do explain to them the idea of natural consequences. A natural consequence is just that - something that happens naturally.

If our daughters show no interest in practicing, a consequence is their improvement will be stalled. We tell them it's fine if they don't want to work on sports, but they must understand that might lead to less opportunities in the future.

This is not meant to threaten or discourage them. It's meant to help them understand how decisions today relate to things that will happen in the future.

Whatever decision they make, we then honor that. I think that's a huge point!! It really has to come from them. We've made this mistake in the past.

Whenever we've forced them to do something, it almost always ends poorly. They are resentful. They don't put forth their best effort. We feel annoyed because they don't appreciate what we are trying to do for them.

It's a losing formula. Even though you might know best, forcing your kids to practice or play likely will do more harm than good.

A second reason we haven't gone with one sport per season is that they enjoy multiple sports in the same season. Most notably, they both play soccer and volleyball. At this time, they don't want to give either of them up. We don't want them to either.

So, we allow them to do both and do our best to make the schedules work. How do we do that?

By prioritizing.

First, we've tried to prioritize their passions. Right now, our girls like basketball best. So we do the most for basketball. Soccer is second so that's next. When they conflict, we generally go to basketball. Volleyball is third and we fit that in where we can (out of season).

Second, we prioritize sports that are in season. We feel it's important to be committed. Thus, if it's volleyball season, those games generally come first, even if it's not their favorite sport.

So out of season, we do it by their passion. In season, that sport comes first. This is sometimes hard. They might want to go to a fall basketball game. But we have them go to the volleyball game because it's the fall.

Another thing we try to do is be proactive about our communication. We try to look at the schedules far in advance to find conflicts. We then go through them together and make decisions.

If they have to miss a game, we tell their coach as far in advance as possible. Same for a practice. We try to extend that courtesy to their coaches.

Beyond that, we limit our club participation. Both of our girls have played AAU basketball. Neither have done club soccer or JO volleyball.

While we've had those talks and have been tempted to sign them up, we haven't gone down that path. It's tempting because you see other kids doing it and worry you are hurting your kid's chances of success in that sport.

But there has to be a limit. Our goal is not to be a taxi service for our girls' sports. AAU has been manageable. It's probably the least time consuming of the three club sports. It doesn't dominate our lives.

The final part is protecting family time. We try to ask ourselves "is this necessary" and is it worth giving up our time as a family for this sports activity? If so, and if the girls want to do it, we generally do. But it has to come from them.

And even then, we sometimes say no. We try to protect time for going to church, having dinner together most nights, and doing other sorts of family activities.

Sports have always been a big part of our lives. We love it and it brings great value to us and our kids. But it's just a part of our lives.

Sometimes it's hard to keep sight of that. Those are the ways we try!

Joe Haefner's Response:

First off, this is just sports.

We should treat sports as a tool to develop our children for their adult life... with better fitness and better character.

While we should take our children's development seriously, we shouldn't put much weight into their athletic performance.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I have to remind myself and my ego at times about what's important.

But here are some general recommendations I try to follow before I get into specifics:

• Play as many sports as possible before the age of 13.
• Play those sports seasonably (2 to 5 months seems sufficient).
• The more environments and situations you can get them to move in, the better (crawl, hop, climb, run, skip, etc.).
• Keep things light and fun.
• Allow for free time where kids can play with friends without adult intervention.

Almost 20 years ago, I learned from athletic development experts that these 4 activities will help develop well-rounded athletes:

1. Gymnastics
2. Soccer
3. Martial Arts
4. Swimming

When they hit age 11 or 12, they'll have a great foundation to participate in their chosen sports.

I know some parents want to give their kids the freedom to choose and there are definitely benefits to this.

But I also had an older relative say this to me one time, "Kids don't know what's best for their development. So before the age of 12, I decided what their activities would be. We just treated these activities like school. There never was a question on whether they should attend school, so I treated this the same way. After that, they were free to choose."

I've kind of done a hybrid of both approaches. There are mandatory activities that they have no input on. However, I do give them options and choices for other things in their lives.

Here is how things have gone so far...

Gymnastics - Looking back, I wish I would've had them start this around ages 3 to 5 and attend once a week for 5 or 6 months until age 10 or 11. I wasn't nearly that consistent.

Soccer - We started around age 4 or 5 and have done this recreationally and seasonally for years. I think this has been a huge plus for conditioning, speed, and agility.

My oldest boy has been begging me to do "club soccer", but I've denied him over and over. I can't find a program that does it seasonally for 3 to 5 months. They all are 8 to 10 months per year which is just too much for my liking.

Martial Arts - This is another one that we've done on and off since age 7 or 8 that I wish I would've been a bit more consistent with. My goal is to get them to attend at least once a week year-round for the next few years. When they hit age 13 or 14, they can decide what they want to do going forward.

Swimming - For one month every summer, they attend a swim league every morning of the week. I've actually been happy with what we've done there.

Other Sports

I would also highly advise that you mix in other sports seasonally as well such as flag football, baseball, dance, softball, tennis, basketball, volleyball, bowling, golf, lacrosse, field hockey, ice hockey, and so on.

Personally, I've done this...

Basketball - Last year, we started basketball in 2nd and 3rd grade for my boys. Honestly, if my wife didn't sign them up, I probably wouldn't have.

Basketball is such a late developing sport and I'm in no rush. I see so many "elite" 12, 13, 14, and 15 year olds that don't even play high school varsity basketball. And I see the opposite. Players who weren't very good at ages 12, 13, or 14 develop into good high school players and some even play basketball in college.

Lacrosse, Water Polo, and Handball - Next year, I want to try lacrosse and maybe even water polo.

My older son wants to try handball, but I know nothing about it and I don't think there are any youth programs in the area.

I'll also send them some youth sports camps in the summer, so they get exposed to more activities.

Now, will they get behind some kids who specialize? Absolutely.

But their ceiling will be highly dependent on their genetics and how much they practice on their own after they hit puberty, so I'm not too concerned.

For most sports, much of the REAL development comes during and after puberty.

If they truly want it, they'll get it done.

This isn't to say this is the right way or the best way. It's just the way that I've chosen based on my experience and research.

What do you think? Let us know by leaving your comments, suggestions, and questions...

Comments Most Likes First   Oldest First   Newest First Marcia Ritzma says: 6/22/2024 at 6:08:42 PM Thank you for your insight & for sharing how you both personally balance sports in your families. Like     login   register

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