Do You Yell At Referees?

Photo by Gene Gallin on Unsplash

Do You Yell At Referees?



A couple of weekends ago, I got a chance to watch my old high school team and the treatment of the referees by the opposing coach boggled my mind. He was constantly on their case even when he was leading by 20 points in the 4th quarter. As the game ended and his team had won by 15 points, he yelled at them and started to follow them out of the gym. This just drove me nuts! I didn't even notice the refs during the game. I was rooting for the losing team and I didn't have a complaint. I also heard that the same varsity coach was screaming at a very timid pair of referees during the Freshmen game. During the game, he started out sitting at the top row and reached the 2nd row by the end of the game. And the funny thing was that his team only had 3 fouls in the first half and 2 fouls in the second half. Yet, my high school team had 12 fouls in each half. He was obviously trying to intimidate the referees.

What kind of example is this setting for kids?

This instantly made me think of a line Don Kelbick said to me a few years ago about coaches who have bad behavior, "99% of the time, those coaches are good people. They just have bad role models." They see the coaches on TV jumping, yelling, and screaming so they think they should be doing the same thing.

I don't condone terrible sideline antics by college and pro coaches, but I can understand the psychological games they have with the referees when their jobs and the lives of their families are at stake.

However, when it comes to a high school coach who barely gets paid or a youth coach who does not get paid, we should be setting the right example!

Mistreating and yelling at referees can hurt your team a number of ways:

  • Poor Coaching - If you concentrate on the referees' calls that means you're not focused on your team which means you will miss teachable moments for your players.

  • Won't get Answers On Calls - When you need to question a call or talk with the referees, they might not listen. This could cost you the game.

  • Get Calls Against You - If you constantly badger referees, some will purposely start making calls against you. This is especially true at the youth and high school levels of basketball.

  • Bad Team Play - Players often copy their coach's actions. If you are mistreating the referees, your players probably will too. This will lead to your players getting on the bad side of the referees which will never help in getting a fair game called. Also, when they blame the officials rather than taking responsibility for poor play, this can lead to a negative mind state for the whole team.
And we can pretend that you do get some calls by yelling at the referees, this is still setting a bad example for your players...

What kind of example are you setting by yelling at the refs?

By setting this example, you are showing your kids that it's ok to yell at people. In fact, you make it seem like a good thing. You are demonstrating that the proper method to get your way and change a person's behavior is to yell and scream at them. Don't you think that the very successful and happy people in this world use different methods to persuade and change behavior? There are much better tactics to persuade people. And frankly yelling, throwing fits, and screaming is VERY childish behavior. I know you see BIG TIME coaches doing this on TV. But let's face it and be real about this. It's very childish and immature behavior.

What you need to realize is that you have a very strong effect on these kids. 20 years from now these kids will remember certain things you tell them word for word. These kids WANT to play basketball. Teachers would do anything to have the type of power, influence, and control that you have over these kids. Like it or not. You are shaping the beliefs of some of these kids and you are making an impact on their future. Many of them look up to you. You have incredible influence over them.

With this influence and power comes a large responsibility that you need to accept and embrace. I urge you to think very hard about the example you set for your players. It's the right thing to do.


6 Tips For Treating Referees

  1. Treat them with respect. Our players see the way we treat the referees and we should teach them to respect others and learn to communicate without yelling uncontrollably. Referees are humans and they like to be treated with respect. Talk to them. Ask questions in a non-aggressive tone.

    Not to mention, it's very important to teach today's young people how to respect authority. It also teaches players not to blame others and to be held accountable.

  2. Create a dialogue and learn their names. Referees will respect you and like the fact that you're talking to them like they are a human being. It's also a good idea to learn their first names, so you can effectively address them during the games. The chances of them responding or listening increase if they hear their name.

  3. Chat with them in the pregame. One thing I always like to do is talk to the referees in the pregame warm-ups. I might even give them a heads up that I like to ask questions on calls, so I can teach my players and I would appreciate it if they took a few seconds to explain the calls to me when I ask them about a call. Morgan Wootten also says this is a great time to get a point across about the rules of the game.

  4. Apply the golden rule. If you treat the referees like you would want to be treated, you'll develop a quality relationship with them. Most often, this will lead to more calls in your favor.

  5. Question their call in an assertive, but non-aggressive manner. If you question a call in a reasonable tone, the refs will be more likely to listen to criticism. If you're yelling and screaming the whole time, they'll probably tune you out.

  6. Create a great environment for them at your home games. When you host a game, you should greet them and make them feel as comfortable as possible. It's important to make sure beverages and food are provided to the refs as well. This great treatment can go a long ways. It's also beneficial for you and your administration to make sure that your fans create a great atmosphere, but in a positive manner. No heckling and berating the referees.

What do you think about about yelling at referees? Please share your thoughts.



Comments

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Kelly Kuhn says:
2/5/2024 at 10:11:08 AM

In general I don’t believe in yelling at refs- especially over basic calls and I swore I would do it but I’ve broken that rule when the game is out of hand and unsafe. Youth sports it’s out of hand and we are ok with 50 point blow outs and full court triple team presses in youth ball all while asking coaches to protect your players and then expecting them to stay cool when things like an egregious punch to the face during a jump ball in 4th grade is missed because ref didn’t see it . Or my last game a player threatening my player verbally loud enough for everyone to hear. And refs response to me telling him “ what do you want me to do” I want you to stop the game and get the kids under control or at least say to me “ I didn’t hear it but I’ll keep an eye on it” Just acknowledge that emotions were getting high and that you’ll work to keep it under control. Instead I was told to shut up.

Again this is during a mercy rule situation with a team playing in the wrong division trophy chasing- kids are getting pummeled and frustrated- it’s impossible to expect any human charged with protecting those kids to stay cool when one those kids is threatened and the ref couldn’t care less. Coaching is hard too especially volunteer coaching with parents and middle school attitudes. We carry a lot as coaches and I go into every game with the intent to treat refs with respect but at the end of the day my first priority is those kids and refs need to have empathy and respect for the role of coaches another role in sports that is having shortages. Mutual respect would go along way. I’ll respect them until they don’t keep the safety of my kids first. It’s never been about winning and losing for me. There needs to be an avenue for coaches to speak to refs and if it’s not provided when situations like this happen it’s a recipe for disaster. Yes stop yelling over every stupid call but for coaches that do that when they really see a problem refs need to show that same respect in return. Putting one role
on a pedestal is never going to work in the long run.

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JS says:
10/14/2022 at 11:28:53 AM

This is an absolutely piss-poor excuse! You sound like the guy that yells about every call, but when asked to become an official would say "there''s no way I''d referee, I don''t want to get yelled at!" Read the room!

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Steve says:
12/4/2021 at 11:19:07 PM

I can say HS basketball refs are getting worse every year. We have girls quitting because games have turned into nothing but brawls. Our best girl, who has traveled all over the country playing, is ready to quit because every game she is bloodied and hurt because of non calls. Just last game she had a busted head, bloody lip, black eye and bruises all over her body. One game she was attacked after stealing a ball and the other girl just started throwing punches and hitting her hard enough to knock her contacts out. Refs called an intentional foul on her but allowed her to keep playing. School sent tape in and of course nothing was done. Just like a lot of girls this is pushing her to volleyball. Seems like old school refs would do their best to call a good game and ignore the fans. Now I see them arguing with fans during games. This is absolutely killing the game.

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Dave says:
4/19/2022 at 1:12:48 AM

To be fair fans need to step up too. People want to blame officials but many are still learning and are not given room to make mistakes. There is a massive shortage of officials. I am one of the only young officials in my area and nobody wants to do it because of the culture of blame the referee.

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Dave says:
4/19/2022 at 1:12:52 AM

To be fair fans need to step up too. People want to blame officials but many are still learning and are not given room to make mistakes. There is a massive shortage of officials. I am one of the only young officials in my area and nobody wants to do it because of the culture of blame the referee.

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MikeR says:
11/26/2021 at 11:53:19 PM

I officiated high school basketball for over 20 years and one would logically think I would come to the defense of the verbal abuse toward the officials and seek respect for the objective guys in stripes. Nope - not at all!

I'm sure I'm breaking some brotherhood oath here but that wasn't my take-away at all. I had fellow officials cheating off my test answers, unknowledgeable of the rules during games and on some unexplained ego trip when asserting control over games.

Some thought they were the stars and the reason for the fans showing up so they rewarded them with emphatic blocking and charging calls to draw the reactions. Some tossed fans for negative remarks and the associations are very political when it comes to which officials call the tournaments and how they treat certain schools and coaches.

All I can say is the money isn't great, the treatment isn't great and most of the basketball isn't great so guess what ... the officiating isn't great. I've been out of it for about 5 years to take on additional responsibilities at work because I'm not a teacher nor do I work any job that allows the freedom of getting to games 50 miles away at 5 PM.

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John Westley says:
12/29/2020 at 3:44:55 PM

Some good advice. The two things I would add for head coaches to consider is, 1. Keep your assistant quiet, and 2. Don't argue the obvious call.

Regarding Point 1, any time an assistant starts yelling at an official, I give the head coach my one warning: "Coach, I will be happy to talk to you, but another complaint from your assistant is going to be a T."

Point 2 ... I have no problem with a head coach asking me a question, or even making a statement, such as on a block/charge play. "Ref, my guy was set." "Sorry coach, I thought he got there a bit late." And there is nothing wrong with asking me to keep an eye on something, "Ref, keep an eye on 42 blue ... he's pushing off inside." But don't go into hysterics on a call that everybody in the gym knows was right except you. "Ref, my guy got nothing but ball!" Yes, his hand did ... but the rest of his body knocked the poor shooter into the back wall. Two shots."

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SamW says:
11/4/2020 at 2:36:23 PM

Because referees don''t have a vested interest in being there? And, they actually are, but what should happen when they are suspended/removed for missing a call. What if there are not enough officials? Should both teams not play? Should everything be a scrimmage at that point? Should coaches comb the stands for parents willing to wear a striped shirt?

If the rules enforcement mechanism doesn''t have a reliable mechanism to make judgement calls, then it would be best to just have all basketball be scrimmages. Or let the players call their own fouls, like playground ball.

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CoachJF says:
5/29/2020 at 9:55:03 PM

Why is everyone else in sports held accountable but officials?

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Dave says:
5/20/2019 at 6:50:34 AM

People just don’t get sports. After all the things that have come out about refs fixing games and missing calls all the time, that’s why people yell at refs. If a ref doesn’t call something 5 times in a row, that’s when someone says stuff. And they yell cause they aren’t standing beside them. How can you hear someone if you don’t yell? Smh this article is dumb. They yell cause they didn’t have good role models? What is it teaching kids?! Standing up for what you believe in and not taking being treated unfairly is what I want my kid to do. People that sit back and say nothing while things continue to be bad are the problem. This person just wants things done a certain way. Well the world is filled with terrible people and to get what you want you have to speak up. People that say nothing are the problem, not the yellers.

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Anonymous says:
1/17/2019 at 6:22:41 PM

You say refs can’t control the outcome of a game?? What if the ref goes to the score table and erases a foul on a kid he obviously know so she can stay in the game instead of fouling out. And that team wins by 1 point due to that specific gir being the tallest on the court and being able to rebound and score at will.

Meanwhile the other red is calling the call out bounds on the wrong team and bogus foul call after foul calls to put that girls team on the foul line to come back from 14 points down to win.

That set of refs did control the outcome of the game.

During every time out said red was having a friendly and laughing conversation with the girl that should have been fouled out of the game.

What made it worse is that girls AD sitting at the table tells the loosing coach that his team won that game and he was cheated by the refs and she witnessed the ref changing the books to keep the girl in the game.

Not saying all refs are bad but that particular group was either paid on the side or were indeed related to the girl they kept in the game.

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steve says:
12/30/2018 at 12:17:34 PM

If you want kids to respect and understand the perspective of the referees, have them rotate through being a ref for your practice scrimmages. There is so much to be taught in life through perspective.

Reffing basketball is extremely difficult and you're never going to ref a perfect game.

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