player response

Hi, I coach U16 boys who mostly I have coached before and I get a very good response from them, but there are a couple who have been coached by their mom's all their lives and last season by a male assistant coach who was 16years old at the time. I find this boy doesn't respond well to my instructions, in fact I feel he ignores what I say and as a point guard, he has a lot of control over the game, an so far the games are not going well because he instructs to do things we didn't practice for. He has missed training, for valid reasons I suppose, but during the first one that he attended he was disruptive. I heard that he misses his assistant coach. I would like some advise on how to deal with this situation, without crashing his spirit, and also without offending his mom's who is also a coach and a friend. I also would like to get advise on how to get players to implement what we practice at training. They seem to forget what to do in the game. we have been practicing for five weeks now during grading, and at our first official game, nothing was done. Thank you

Dan -

Tough situation ... maybe you can sit down with him ( the point guard ) and his back up if you have one. Talk to them about the job of being the point guard - which is being the coach on the floor and running the team according to the coaches philosophy. Explain exactly what you want done offensively and defensively.
You might try splitting the playing time between them.... give the one that does the better job more time and hopefully the other will get the idea. If that doesn't work, then you play the other kid until he does! He has to understand that this is a team game and the point guard is the one that is supposed to make everyone better.
If his mom has coached before she must know that everyone has to be on the same page.... he (or anyone else for that matter) can play for himself. You can always sit down with her and explain your philosophy and where you are coming from.
You say that after 5 weeks of practice they aren't doing the things you teach them during practice? You might take a look at what you are doing and simplify it a little bit... sometimes less is more. Its not always how much you do, its more about what you do, you do well.
I hope this helps you a little.

Let me add this to what I said before... lean on the kids you have coached before... look for some leadership from them.... maybe that will wake him up. When you talk to this kid, find out where he is coming from and what he expects from you and the team. Have your conversation with him away from the team.

Thank you so much Coach Sar, It is reassuring and encouraging what you say, and confirms my line of thought too. I feel much better now. I will reduce the amount of information I give them and simplify as you said. Great help, Thank you so much.
I also wanted to mention that I thought the fact that I am a female coach with 14 and 15 year old boys may make it more difficult, Do you think they might relate better if I have the assistance of a male such as my husband or another parent?
Thanks again
Flavia

You're welcome....

14-15 year old boys who feel that they know more than women about the game... tough gig.

Having your husband help out might make a difference... but the key is to make sure that they understand that you are the boss / head coach and that you know and understand the game. So stay on top of them, do your homework about the game and have good practice plans.

I hope this helps too.

Thanks so much coach!
You don't know how much your words mean to me. I though I was doing everything wrong and it was probably time for me to give up the job. I haven't been able to sleep the last few days.
This is great support you provide!
Kindest Regards
Flavia

Don't lose sleep over this,,,,, remember, its just a game with kids running around in short pants ( I think Al McGuire said that )

Just stay one or two steps ahead of them and you will be fine. Being a good coach takes experience so don't be too hard on yourself.

I'm glad to be of help... and IF you need anything else, don't hesistate to ask.

GOOD LUCK

If you look at the top left hand side of this page... you will find a lot of things that can help you.... drills and techniques etc.

COACHING BASKETBALL
PLAYER DEVELOPMENT
BASKETBALL DRILLS
BASKETBALL PLAYS
OFFENSE
DEFENSE

Browse through all of these and pick out things that can help you and your players. Make sure that you have a good practice plan... keep each segment short - 5-10 minutes each, keep them moving.

I will. I usually have questions to ask, so I am sure we'll talk again.
Thanks Again.

Flavfia: Young lady, you are in a very difficult place. However, Coach Sar has given you wonderful advice. In my opinion, this kid will never give you the respect you deserve as a coach until you take back control of YOUR team. Chauvinism once again rears its ugly head. But you must decide, is he worth keeping, is it worth all the aggravation you will face to keep this kid satisfied. what is difficult to read, is the influence he has on the rest of your team and this will surely cause you problems in the near future. If this kid misses his other coach, then go play for him and good luck. I have always thought, the best position for a player with an attitude was that space right beside me on the bench. In my opinion, no player is irreplaceable. When I coached in Canada, I had a great player who came with the same attitude you are describing. I spoke with his mother, (who didn't think her son was getting a fair deal because he was black) which was crap because I am half native Canadian. to make a long story short, this young man occupied that space beside me until one day he wanted to talk to me. He began with "coach I am one of the best players on this team," I agreed, then he asked "why am i not playing?" I said you know the answer to that and once you figure it out, then you will begin play. He sat the next three games then said to me ok coach I get it. This young man went on to play NCAA basketball at St Johns and had a two year stint with the Toronto raptors of the NBA. He is now a college coach and has on several occasions asked me for advice on some similar situations..Hope this helps...
Coach Mac

Coach Mac, thank you so much for your feedback. It is really good to hear your experience, it confirms my thoughts.I did get tougher by the end and stood my ground. Even in the last game he was not listening and took him out, the person I put in did the wining goal, it happened to be someone he didn't appreciate in the team. I told him that he didn't listen to my instructions and took him out. He then wrote me a long email with his objections to my judgement....can you believe it.
Well, the season has finished now and we are doing something different this season, and I will not be coaching as we have all agreed at club level that this age group needs a male coach. See, it is just a domestic team -but with many egos I guess-. We just run try outs for our number one team and engaged a paid coach to bring this team to a higher level so that it could go into a representative competition. Well this kid made it to the team, we'll see what happens. He is a ball carrier, which the team needed as there is only one extra. But unfortunately he cannot pass the ball well. Hopefully with a new coach he'll learn better, as he has been mostly coached by his mum.
Thank again
Flaiva

Flavia -

I'm sorry that this kid gave you such a hard time... but it goes with the territory... male or female coaches get grief from kids. Teenagers seem to think that they know more than adults. You were probably too nice.... I doubt that I could have been accused of that as a head coach. LOL I was a different person on the floor than I was off the floor.... they knew who the boss was.

I am laughing as I read Coach Macs post here.... I benched several kids that thought they knew more than me or were acting like jerks. Some I threw off the team, go play in the park. It took me 3 years to get one kid under control, 3 years! He was 5 foot nothng as a freshman and the 3 best guard in the program then. I wanted to bring him up as a Sophomore to the varsity ( and he knew the plans as a freshman ) he balked and threatened to quit. His mom called the AD and he came to me..... asked me if I was ready to lose him... I said, IF he is going to quit on me now, so be it, better now than when its really important when he is a senior. I talked to his mom and she understood, saying its between you and Brian. Well, he decided to play and the first year was good because I had some great kids and leaders on that team... as a junior... a real pain... benched him many games, as a senior I had to bench him and 2 other starters when we were playing for the conference championship. I didn't dress them and they had to take stats. The tail doesn't wag the dog. IF you love coahing... you can work with some younger kids and probably have more fun.
By the way, I will see Brian and his family over Christmas in Florida, he has 3 kids and one of them can really shoot it already at 10 years old. His wife asked me if I was always so soft spoken. Brian and I looked at each other and started laughing.... he said, only off the floor. So, don't let this kid ruin your love for the game.... there is an age group out there that would appreciate someone like you.

Good luck