update with helping son with confidence
Page 2 of 3

Author:  Coach Sar [ 22 Jan 2013, 13:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

There is one other big guy on the team, could be my sons twin and he is good, AAU for3 years now already and he pulled a muscle or something in his back last game on Sunday. He was 'begging' to come out and was screamed at SUCK IT UP!! and there sat my big guy, just chomping to go in. go figure? Anyhoo, parents of other big guy are furious!! Said you have another big guy sitting on the bench all the time, use him!!! when our kids says hes hurt ,listen to him!! We, everyone, cannot figure out what coach is doing. Got one kid on bench not happy, got one hurt off bench and cant get on bench.
Coach doesn't have to explain his every move to the parents, but something seems a bit strange here.

THIS is the only move he has to explain.... IF a kid is injured... and is begging to come out of the game... I ask two questions.... 1- What was the ref thinking? He should have stopped the game and made sure this kid was ok! That is his responsibility along with the coach.... They have trainors at high school games and if a kid is injured, they will make sure the kid is ok to play..... on to #2

which is #2. What is the Coach thinking about? Make sure the kid is ok, they are 11 not Pros.

Other than that. he doesn't have to explain his offense or defense or subbing.....

Author:  golfman25 [ 22 Jan 2013, 14:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Just a follow up note on the coach not wanting to put a kid in the position to fail on the court. What a crock of BS!!!!

I assume your kid was good enough to make this "elite" squad of 11 year olds. So why would he "fail?" Rec. ball coaches use that reasoning to "hide" a lesser skilled player (in many cases rightly so). But this is "elite" ball. Making mistakes is part of the game. It is how you learn to be successful.

Here is the famous Michael Jordan quote:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Michael Jordan

Good luck.

Author:  Coach Sar [ 22 Jan 2013, 14:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

How true Golfman -

You and I are thinking along the same lines.... I cant say what I really want to say.... but this guy is full of excuses... and you know what they say about exceuses.

Author:  twinkletoes [ 22 Jan 2013, 18:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Yea, I know this is BS, BS, BS. The coach is also head of basketball operations for the program, so no help there either.

And yes, I questioned, why son can't fail on the court. No answer other than they are working with him.

I and hubby 'think' that for some reason or another coach is holding son down, does not want him to progress, so other big guy can continue to have limelight, other big guy is coaches BF AND plays AAU together, WHERE coach, coaches. sigh. Our son has such a good attitude and I think because of the Aspergers is accepting alot of this BS, any other kid would probably say screw this and want to quit, but not him, he is sticking it out. He is so proud to have made it on the team, but REALLY wants to play.

He is a boyscout as well and this weekend he has a campout, so hubby has already told coach not to expect son at the games on Sunday. It would be a five hour drive home in possible snow. First game at 1:00 AND he hubby and I discussed it, why bother to ruch there and sit on the bench. Probbably not going to sit well with coach, but oh well. Before, when son signed up for the campout in September, the season was just getting going and hubby planned on getting him there to the games, but not NOW, screw 'em. At least with the scouts, son gets the respect and friendship that he needs and deserves.

I know, the coach is just BSing me, what can we do? ONly 4 games left after this weekend, might as well tough it out. I am just sad that this guy would do this. I did not expect dog eat dog this year or cut throat this year. Maybe, just maybe at the highschool level, but not at 6th grade.

We told son to go into practices and burn up the boards, have fun, show up other big guy and cause a rucuss and so far he has been doing just that. Made 17/20 free throws, which was the best for the practice and stuffed quite a few guys including other big guy. By the way, remember other big guy came from neighboering city this August and has taken over everything even football-one man band you might say. Am I jealous of other big guy? Well, kind of. I keep thinking if he weren't here, they would be woriking on my kid to get him under the basket like they did last year. Instead he sits.

I am rambling here. Sorry. I really like hearing from you guys though. It kind of makes the things I am thinking valid and not just my imagingation.

It Is JUST TOO BAD, these are just little kids for crying out loud. Oh, by the way out of the 11 on the team, 9 are on AAU, only mine and another is not.

Author:  twinkletoes [ 22 Jan 2013, 18:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Just to clarify one little bit here. My son is the youngest on the team, all the rest are 12 years old. Not that should matter, but it might emotionally for my kid.

Author:  Coach Sar [ 22 Jan 2013, 18:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Ok, now I see the light!

It Is JUST TOO BAD, these are just little kids for crying out loud. Oh, by the way out of the 11 on the team, 9 are on AAU, only mine and another is not.

He is playing these kids to give them experience for his AAU team... . You are right, at this level he should be playing everybody ELITE team or not...... 11 year olds play to have FUN..... coaches need to teach everyone the fundamentals and let them PLAY... at least one quarter.

The high school level is different .. the best kids play.... especially on the Varsity. When I was the Sophomore Coach...I tried to play 8 guys.... 3 guards and forwards and 2 centers. IF I could get more in the game I would.but I felt it was my job to get 8 guys ready to play every year. When I became the Varsity coach... I told my sophomore coach what I wantred him to do. Thats high school....this is YOUTH ball.

OK, now that I have vented for you too..... ha ha Relax, encourage your son to play hard in practice - enjoy the rest of the season and move on. This was/is a learning experience for all of you.

ps - you can talk to us any time.

Author:  twinkletoes [ 23 Jan 2013, 08:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Coach Sar,

Son went up to coach after practice on Monday night and asked when he is going to get a chance to play? Coach did not respond to him. He told me that he would talk to son, that night and evidently, he did not.

Should I leave things alone and let son try to do it?

I want to reach acrossed the table and just shake this guy awake! The kid is begging to get in.


Author:  Coach Sar [ 23 Jan 2013, 12:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

There is an old saying..... " IF B.S. Was Music, HE Would be a Brass Band! "

I think YOU would be wasting your time... JMO I would just ell your son to kep ASKING..... he has to run out of excuses somewhere along the line. He is lying to your son and YOU..... This time tell your son to ask him when practice ends... that way he cant get away, How does he look at himself in the mirror?

If he had any guts at all, he would tell your son that he is not ready to play yet ... fot these reasons...... X X X

I hope you don't donate to the year end gift if they do that there.

Author:  Coach Rob [ 23 Jan 2013, 13:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

You can only control what you can control and obviously this coach isn't something you can control. Sounds like your son will miss this weekend's games which leaves 4 remaining games after that. This appears to be one of those situations where you "cut your losses" and move on.

Author:  Coach Sar [ 23 Jan 2013, 13:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: update with helping son with confidence

Amen to that Rob!!

To me, its not controlling the guy, its trying to get an honest answer from him... and obviously, that isn't goint to happen.

Move on, make sure you do your homework regarding the next team and AAU ball..... the coaches/the program and how things are run. Do they teach fundamentals? Does everyone get playing time? What are their expectations and what can you and your son expect? You might do well to talk to some other parents who have had kids that play or played for those coaches.

Page 2 of 3 All times are UTC - 6 hours
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group