i have 10 and 12 years old boys. both very big for their ages but a little slow footed and lack confidence. they are playing basketball and i coach them. i played high school and college and had more drive than either of them. they enjoy playing but some games they are aggressive and into it, other games they are aloof and do not seem to care. i am starting to get impatient with them since i see they have talent but i do not want to push them too hard and make them dislike the game. the problem is i see lots of other kids their ages that are really skilled and determined and seem to be getting better. my boys look like they are improving one day and then regressing the next. i want to be patient but think my boys could be at a disadvantage when they get to high school and try to make one of their teams. in practice i see a lot of good things. some games are encouraging. but some games are starting to depress me. is there a frequency the boys should be practicing per week? should i start coaching more complex moves and drills? it seems like the boys have good skill but are a step slow to react when there is ball pressure, to take a shot, to defend, etc. they are playing much better competition this year than before. is there a timeframe for getting used to the speed of the game? any advice would be appreciated.

I see it all the time. Every player develops mentally, physically, and emotional at different times. They also get interested and passionate about things at different stages/times.

I didn't really get passionate about basketball until high school. Some kids are just aloof at young ages and really get focused when they get older. Some stay aloof.

So it's really hard to give specifics when answering your questions. I really don't think there is a time frame for getting used to the speed of the game. I think you always adjust trying to put them in the sweet spot of development. You want them to succeed around 50-80% of the time. Always challenge them... but don't challenge them too much.

I think the most important things for you to do are:

- help foster a love and passion for the game. Make it fun. If they love it and get interested, they'll eventually start working at it and get more focused.

- set a good example for them by demonstrating the characteristics you want them to have in your own actions.

There's not really much else you can do. Everyone has different interests and personalities. They might not have your personality or interests. I would encourage them to follow their passion... whatever it might be (golf, basketball, math, music, etc). If they can do that I think that will give them a good chance for lifetime of happiness and success. Which is what we all want for our kids.

thanks jeff...appreciate the feedback...

my sons are both immature...maybe a year or two behind others...

i just hope they adapt and learn to play against the stronger competition...right now it seems they shy away from it a little bit...but sometimes they tackle it head on and seem to do well...

most importantly they are good teammates and good kids...

i just want to light a fire under them to bring out their abilities...maybe 10 and 12 years old is way too early...

sometimes the rational person in me says be patient...other times i think every day should show improvement...

i guess there will be good days and bad days...progress and regression...

how does a dad/coach stay sane?

Over the years and still today I keep telling myself:

"Coaching youth basketball is a marathon, not a sprint"

That usually helps me calm down and put things back in perspective. It's a long term process.