I've been coaching the same group of about 20-25 6th grade girls (different AAU teams and town teams) for a while now, and most of them ended up on their school's A team this year (the rest for that town ended up on the B team, which I was pretty proud of). Their coach definitely doesn't have a style I agree with. He told the A team at their first practice that they should know what they're doing already and should run their own practice since they're the A team. He's consistently made negative remarks to them all year and recently told the girls when they asked if they could scrimmage, "Why bother, you've lost every game you should just give up now." They're 11 and 12, they need guidance, not to have their spirits crushed by someone whose strong suit isn't working with young girls.

I hate seeing my kids coached by this negative person, but I've told them all when they complain that they need to look at is as a learning experience and try to figure out what they can take from the experience. Multiple kids and parents have told me that if he coaches next year, they don't know if they want to play. I would like to make myself available to the coach to assist next year or to take over the team, but as I am very close to my kids on this team and am pretty well-known in this town at this age level, I'm worried that he will take offense to my offer and take it out on my kids, especially my niece who plays for him.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with him? I personally coach very positively and have to sit on my hands and keep my mouth shut when I watch him coach so as not to make things worse for my kids. I don't want my girls playing for someone like him, but I don't want to wreck their chances of making the A team next year, as the coach usually moves up with the team.

This is a very difficult situation for you and the kids.... so tread lightly. I'm not sure why he is so negative but it is what it is. Telling the girls that they need to use this as a learning situation was an excellent idea. In our lifetimes we will run into all kinds of people... some good and some bad. It's just a shame that kids of this age have to listen to him talk that way.

His job is to teach them fundamentals, a love for the game and get them ready to play at the next level. IF the parents want to talk to the prinicpal, thats fine, but you should not get involved with that.

If you can sit down with him and offer your services as an assistant for next year without him getting angry, that would be great! Whether he says yes or no, makes no difference... just try to have a nice "basketball" conversation with him. Tell him that you will do whatever he wants you to do.

Good luck