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PostPosted: 11 Dec 2015, 04:29 

Posts: 42
I first have to start out by stating I myself am a High School Coach.
The situation is that my daughter who is in the 8th grade and has been playing basketball since 2nd grade and has played on top AAU teams as well as started in the "A"level team for her school for 3 years. The situation is she attends strength training 2 times a week, attended several camps including Breakthrough camps over the summer and is a good player.
I received a message from her saying she was told she would be playing on the "B" team this season as well as time on the "A" team, she is very upset as they placed players who are clearly inferior to her on the "A" team.. I called the coach so I could understand what was going on, and was told because they only had 13 kids tryout. I really do not see how this will benefit my daughter or why as the kids just started playing basketball who are on the "B" team they are clearly, clearly behind way behind.. What do I do? My daughter is not dumb or blind she is a coaches kid! I have had fellow coaches watch her play and give me a report on what they see and I had 2 tell me she could start on their JV team at schools who's record is 138-30 in 8 years.. How does she not be considered for the top team.. I just need some guidance.. This is a different situation.


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PostPosted: 11 Dec 2015, 07:42 

Posts: 18
In my opinion, all you can do is make the best of it. I suppose your other options are to complain or quit the team. But I don't think those are good options.

This is life. There will always be situations like this and kids need to make the best of these situations. I would tell my kids... Don't worry about things you can't control (the coach), focus on things you can control.

Turn lemons into lemonade. By playing on both teams this could be the best of both worlds. On the A team you get to play against good competition and with good players.

On the B team you can learn to take your leadership skills to a new level, handle diversity, and feel good about helping teammates develop. I think there are many lessons to learn from playing on both teams and opportunities to develop.


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PostPosted: 11 Dec 2015, 12:09 

Posts: 900
That must be disappointing and frustrating for both you and your daughter. I've witnessed all kinds of nutty things over the years in terms of players being chosen or not chosen for teams. Same with playing time. I recently watched some club players get cut from their high school team. It was painfully obvious they were better than several of the kids who made the team. Everyone was left scratching their heads.

You'll drive yourself nuts trying to figure out why this decision was made. I agree with Jeff, let your daughter control what she can control. You already know this as a high school coach, but this is a great life lesson opportunity. Sometimes life deals us a hand we weren't expecting. It's how we play that hand that matters.

On the practical side, I see no harm in encouraging your daughter to talk with the coach one on one. As long as she has a positive attitude, she could ask the coach specifically what she needs to do (work on) to become a permanent member of the "A" team this season. Even though you both know she should be on there now. It gives your daughter some control over the situation.

The difficulty will be keeping things positive while she's playing on the "B" team. It will be extremely tempting to compare her with other players or question the coach's decisions as the season progresses. I hear things all the time with parents complaining about everything from playing time to decisions in the game. They criticize other players on the team. People talk. Things get back to coaches. Parents get labeled as troublemakers. You know the drill.

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PostPosted: 16 May 2016, 09:55 

Posts: 62
All good responses here. Its tough when others in charge of our kids like teachers or coaches don't see the reasoning that we do behind their decisions. They most likely are just looking at your daughter as another kid on the team. That is unfortunate. One thing I read in the previous response is that life is not fair. Its o.k. for your daughter to learn this since she is quite young and she will run into "silliness" like this for the rest of her life in many different situations.


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