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PostPosted: 19 Dec 2014, 12:49 

Posts: 6
Here's my question: I have a 12 year old son that is almost 6 foot tall and in a size 12 men's shoe. He just started playing competitive league basketball at a local fieldhouse where the coaches are volunteers. The last session was fun for him and he learned a lot. This session, not so much. My son is big but he's not up to the level the other players are. The coaches son, DURING THE GAME, will say "you suck" after he misses a pass or makes a mistake. My son becomes absolutely deflated during the game. So here's what I'm throwing out for some dialogue: 1) Do you encourage him to push on and ignore what others say because he needs to develop that sports mentality -- mental toughness? 2) Do we walk a way and say maybe this is a little over his head for right now? 3) Do I talk to the coach or will that make it worse on my son? Any feedback will be appreciated. Thanks from a single mom.


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PostPosted: 19 Dec 2014, 13:40 
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Ideally your son will learn to ignore those type of comments and not let it bother him. I doubt that will be the last time someone in the sports arena says "you suck" to him. If anything it might get worse. So there are some lessons to learn about not taking that stuff personally. But we all know that is easier said than done. And we all know that is going to bother most 18 year olds doing something new, let a lone a 12 year old doing something new.

I think it's important to get out of your comfort zone and not be afraid to try new things. So I definitely think he needs to push through.

If it keeps happening, and it is really hurting you sons confidence, I might talk to the coach about it. If you do, be very humble and ask for advice from the coach. Coaches can be very defensive is they think you are being critical. So approach the coach as someone you are looking to get help and advice from. Coaches usually like to give advice and share their "wisdom". It's good for their ego.

Maybe tell him about your son's confidence issue and that he has never played before. See if he has advice to help with the situation. If you can work in the fact that kids are telling him that he sucks. I would not say who said it, unless the coach asks you.

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PostPosted: 19 Dec 2014, 13:47 

Posts: 6
Thank you! I really needed that feedback. Much appreciated.


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PostPosted: 05 Jan 2015, 16:58 

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italy713

I know what you mean. My son had the same thing happen to him. He was on a team where all the player besides 1 teased or threw him passes he would catch or not pass to him at all. As with your son, my son was the tallest on his team. As a parent it's hard to watch, but you have to endure. As long has it doesn't get personal (teasing about family or personal taunts). If they are teasing about his game then let them tease. If your son is nearly 6ft at twelve, just wait until he turns 16. Look at it like this your son has 4 more years to get better. You dont want the best 12 year old, you want the best 16, 17, 18 year old. From the sounds of it, your son is going to be a BIG BOY! My advice is to work on his dribbling skills and shot, it will make him stand out. Those same kids that are making fun now will have to respect his game once he matures into his body and skill. Just give your son encouragement and support.

If I can I another thing, supplement his bball practice with bball training (ie http://www.handlelife.com/). Find a trainer that will work with your boy on the days he doesn't have practice. Work on footwork, dribbling the most. I guarantee within a year you will see a brand new baller.

I did this with my son after he was teased all the time. I took him off the team and placed him in bball training for 9 months before i put him on a team again. He worked and worked and worked, and got allot better. Its is now a joy to see him grasp the game and perform. Just to give you some background, my son was 9 when i took him off the team now he is 10 5-2 and size 9 shoe. He will be a big guy when it's all said and done. He still has some ways to go but he's getting better everyday.

I hope this helps. Just give him the support he needs.


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PostPosted: 05 Jan 2015, 22:25 

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I say this a lot, but like mcbhillman mentioned, getting some type of training/lessons on the side will probably help. Highly recommend a coach or trainer that will work on your son's ball handling skills and not just focus on the fact that he is tall.

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PostPosted: 23 Apr 2016, 10:34 

Posts: 62
It is true that although your son sounds like he looks like an NBA player what is inside is a young boy. I wouldn't let the name calling continue. You are posting that it is only the second game. To let that go on it might get out of hand. I'd definitely ask for the coach's "wisdom" and also consider getting your son some on the side training, if your son is truly loving the sport. Being a single mom there is no sense in spending that extra money if your son is not interested in playing despite his statue. Lots of Luck and enjoy your son no matter what sport he chooses to play.


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PostPosted: 02 May 2016, 13:39 

Posts: 62
Just wondering how your son is doing with his teammates. Keep us posted.


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PostPosted: 02 May 2016, 16:00 

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Officemanager....I don't know if your were talking about me, but I can report in for any who needs some encouragement. My so n has been traing and play game for two years new and I'm very proud to say that his game has improved greatly. Now he may not be the "star" of the team but he is a significant piece. His dribbling skills have improved his defense has improved and his confidence has been elevated. Now with that said their are still boys who remember when he wasn't as good so they still have image of him but his skills speak for themselves. Whe I ca suggest it to always encourage and support and thing will workout. My son is now in the 6th grade and will be 12 at the end of the summer and now stands at 5-7. It's such a joy to see him play and compete and I owe it all to his training. Hope this helps


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PostPosted: 10 May 2016, 08:59 

Posts: 62
Encouragement and supporting out kids always works out. I'm glad things are turning around for your son. You sound like a great parent. Keep up the good work. Our children are our treasures!


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