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PostPosted: 07 Dec 2012, 15:49 

Posts: 2
I am a mother of a freshmen who loves basketball. He has been playing since the fifth grade. We live in a very small community. So my son has been attending basketball clinics and camps at the nearest city, he practices non stop and has improved his skills. He tried for the basketball team and was really hoping to make the JV team. When he made the Cteam he was very disappointed. I spoke to his coach without his knowledge and she agreed that he had the skills for JV, but the team was full. Even though she didn't want to lose him, she would talk to the JV coach to see if they could make room for him.Today I found out that another boy who is not even from our district tried for the JV team and made it.Keep in mind the season already begin and 2 games have already been played.How does someone just show up on the 2nd trimester and lives out of district take a position on JV that could have easily been for someone who has worked so hard.As his mother do I complain to the school? and if so who do I complain to? or do I just let it go? If I let it go, how do I help my son stay positive and not quit a sport he clearly enjoys? Please, if you can offer any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.


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PostPosted: 08 Dec 2012, 10:25 
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As a parent, this must be a difficult situation..... my advice to you and your son would be - Stay Positive .... things have a way of working out if you have the patience to endure this. As a Varstiy coach, we had several players that did not make the A team.... we called them B Bombers..... there were several of those kids that became starters on the Varsity team.... 2-3 years later. Several became All Conference and some Honorable Mention All Staters.

It sounds like a little political manuvering here... but I really don't know.... and I certainly don't understand how they can play someone out of your district. You could ask for a meeting with the AD and the coach along with the head coach.... go in with a very positive attitude and just ask for some direction here and what the rules are for the out of district kids - OR ..... you can tell your son to go out and prove them wrong every day at practice and in the gams he plays in. IF he is good enough, they will see it and I would think they would make some adjustments.

I cant speak for them since I really don't know or understand their thinking... As for me, speaking from my experience as a head coach.... I WANT my best players in a position where they can help our program. Funny, at a post game party for the coaches at the school I coached at, one of my assistants brought up the time I moved the point guards from the A & B teams.... B team coach wasn't happy but I explained that YOUR point guard belongs on hte A Team and that you two would just switch...

So, support your son amd make sure that he keeps a positive attitude and works his butt off to prove them wrong, each and every day. I Hope this helps.... IF you want to discuss it further, just let me/us know.


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PostPosted: 10 Dec 2012, 13:42 

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Thank you Coach Sar for your response.

We are trying to stay positive. I continually give my son pep talks and try to help see things from a brighter perspective. But I feel like I may lose the battle as he is constantly frustrated with the outcome of the games. They have played three games since my previous entry. My son has played the entire game with about a minute or two of rest. He is the point guard. He is averaging 20 points per game, tops in steals, rebounds, blocks, and assists. He continually needs to tell the players were they need to be, but it's frustating for him that they just don't understand the plays and have difficulty with the fundamentals. They have a hard time finishing a shot as they don't catch his passes.

Changes have happened with both the JV and Varsity. One player from each level quit. So they moved up the only freshmen on the JV team to the Varsity team. He has played with my son since 5th grade and they played well as a team. At the parent/coahes meeting, the head coach made it clear that no freshmen was allowed on the Varsity team. No changes for C team have occured or look like they will.

When I spoke to the coach she mentioned about talking to the head and JV coaches about moving my son up to JV. But I am not seeing that happen. My son and I get comments with people wondering why he is not on the JV team. I feel that maybe his coach is holding him back and not allowing him to grow as a player. I feel that he needs to be at a level were he can use his skills and more important to help strengthen those skills. I want him to have the opportunity to be scouted so he can play college ball on a scholarship. Will attending a 2A district kill his opportunities. Do I need to relocate so that he may attend a 4 or 5A school? What kind of exposure does my son need to be able to be even looked at when he is a junior or senior?

We live in a communit, that unfortunately, financial status plays a key role as to whether you play on the best team.Talent is ignored. There are kids with talent but don't tryout since they know the outcome. So as a single mom of 5 kids, do I need to relocate to larger district so that my kids are exposed to the right people who will help them to grow with there talent and possibly have the opportunity to win a basketball scholarship? I am frustrated with the this system and need to clarity on what I need to be doing to help my children. I save money so that two of my sons who love basketball can attend basketball clinics, camps, etc.

What advice can you give me? How can I help my children? and how can I find a coach that help them improve their skills? How do I approach the coach without being pushy or demanding? What can I say to her without making her feel like I am questiong her position?


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PostPosted: 10 Dec 2012, 14:01 

Posts: 176
Betty, I'll provide my $.02.

First, I would not worry about what level your freshman son is playing at right now. The important thing is that he is playing. The playing experience is what is important. Whould he rather be sitting on the bench at a "higher" level? How is he going to get better by sitting?

I have a neighbor who's daughter is a freshman. They were very upset when she didn'g make varsity and another girl down the street did. We'll my neigbor's daugher plays most of the game and the girl down the street gets about 2-5 min. per game and 2 or 3 shots. Who's going to get better?

As for a scholarship, I would put the primary emphasis on grades. It will open up more playing opportunities for him. Second, I don't think where he plays HS ball is all that important. These days, HS competition can be iffy. A lot of kids are reqruited from "summer" teams. Good luck.


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PostPosted: 10 Dec 2012, 14:34 
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Betty -

Maybe your son should talk to some of the coaches on this site..... he might see what we are talking about and what is important in the overall picture. How tall is your son?

Golcman is on point here.... and I find it very hard to believe that a head coach would not play his best players... .at that level, everyone wants to win...

From what you are telling us, scoring leader and leads in every category... this is amazing. One thing for sure that he is gaining a lot of experience being a LEADER. He is hte coach on the floor.... and not every kid can do that.

Maybe you can arrange a meeting with the head coach and ask him what his plans are for your son... just you and the coach... although he might include the AD and thats alright too. I would find it very hard to tell you to move so your son can play at another school.... thats really pushing it..... what if it didn't work out at that school?

Tell him to keep working hard and eventually, the head coach IS going to notice him... and more importantly... take care of his grades... that is whats going to take him somewhere in life. Good luck.


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PostPosted: 11 Dec 2012, 20:08 

Posts: 892
Betty -

If I was coaching your son, I wouldn't want him to leave my team. Especially if the teams above mine were full and had decent players. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to figure out every move made by a coach or someone in admin. Why they pick player A over player B, not sure it's worth it.

You know better than us how hard to push it. I imagine in a small town, not much goes unseen or unheard. I know most coaches would rather deal with the player than a parent, however, you are your son's best advocate. Has your son tried asking his current coach what it would take to move up to JV?

Regarding playing with kids who aren't very good, that's a tough one. On one hand, your son is getting a ton of playing time and on the other hand, he's having to deal with kids who aren't at his level. That can be very frustrating. If it appears things aren't going to change on the C team, make the best of the situation. As Coach Sar mentioned, it's a great opportunity for your son to develop leadership skills that could come in handy down the road. I can't imagine the coaches don't talk to one another, so if your son has a good attitude. works hard, and shows leadership abilities, he'll get noticed.

I live in a fairly big city and the competition even at the 6th-8th grade level is intense. In our main winter league, we'll have sixty 8th grade teams playing at a very competitive level and another forty 8th grade teams playing at the highest competitive level. That's close to 900 kids if each team has nine players. Out of those 900 players, probably 400 of them play on club/travel teams, so they're playing all year round. That doesn't even take into consideration the teams that skip the winter league and travel year round. It blew me away three years ago to see how deep the level of basketball can go in a big city. High school ball around here is only a blip on the screen.

Not trying to be a downer on the whole scholarship thing, but there are a lot of really good players out there. I'm almost certain my son will make it in the NBA, but just in case, we're backing it up with a good education and putting the priority on academics. ;)

With five kids, you have your hands full, that's for sure. If they're healthy, happy, and playing some ball, you're a lucky mom.

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