Interesting post. Planning something similiar soon and you've inspired me to get writing. I am a coach and a referee and as such have a respect for both positions. So here are my opinions with different hats on.

As a coach:
There are only 2 things which really make me go for the referees. The first is when my guys have been genuinely wronged. When you're teaching guys to play basketball and when get it and they're doing everything right they are knocked down by a bad call. At lower levels, this is primarily because the refs don't know the rules! I've questioned some calls before and given the most outrageous answers which are completely contradictory to the rule book in my bag. Not a questionable interpretation, just the wrong answer! The other thing is when I feel like the players are getting frustrated, sometimes the coach can 'take some heat' off of them. I (and many coaches I've observed) tell their players 'forget the refs, let me deal with them'. Sometimes this works, and your players focus on the game, sometimes it backfires. It depends largely on your group of players.

As a referee:
I don't mind being shouted at. I think a good referee should be able to block out sideline activity (as even if you get a quiet coach, the crowd might be twice as rowdy, and there's nothig you can do to control them). Referees should maintain a friendly but professional relationship with players and coaches. Referees are ultimately responsible for controlling the game and should be able to deal with every situation without it impairing or introducing bias into their decisions. If a coach is excessively shouting or yelling, or swearing, or being personally abusive, that's a technical. However if he just wants to bawl about foul calls then he's welcome to. That's a legitimate coaching style (not saying it's right or wrong) but if he's chosen that, so be it.

I like to consider that there's 3 teams on a game.
players (yours and the opponents)
coaches
and refs must be all good to have a good game.
Matewing (Fr)

I hardly ever speak to the ref or ask questions because i''ve found it to be counterproductive.

Your article provides new insight and I''ll use these tips.

Thanks!

Interesting thoughts, John. It's good to hear from the referee perspective as well. However, I'm not sure that all refs would react the same way as you.

I completely agree with this "Referees are ultimately responsible for controlling the game" Unfortunately, I've had a ref that almost caused a fight when I coached at the JV Level. I had to walk a fan of the opposing team out of the gym with the referee yelling at him. Then, the referee was threatening me about my coaching job, because I couldn't control the fans, even the opposing team's fans. I still don't understand how that is my job. There is alot more to the story and it's actually quite funny, but that's for another time.

I was 22 and I had no idea how to react. I still wonder what the other referee was doing during this whole fiasco.

Sean, I've experienced the same thing. To me, there are too many other things to worry about, unless somebody is getting hurt.

What an inspiring article.It makes me recall my college days when I was playing for inter-collegiate competitions. My coach was exactly the same as of what you were referring to this subject.He always react for any referees' call he thinks it was a bad call and it's true he can no longer concentrate on his job in the team, and sometimes even teaches us to do harm to the role player on the opposite team.

This was the reason some members of our team developed that bad attitude of always hurting somebody from the other side resulting to a fight between the players everytime our team compete also to other teams.

I hope for those coaches who have the same attitudes and read this article,please find another job because you not suited and not welcome to this world of sports.

Lastly, I compare a coach to a head of a family. If you are setting a bad example to your players, I'm very sure this is also the same as how you are raising your children.

About five years ago, I was coaching my oldest son in an 8th grade travel game against a rival school (which had just split from our middle school that year). So most of the kids knew each other very well, as did their coach and I. So it was a VERY competitive game. Both coaches were working (not necessarily yelling at) the refs a little to get the calls to go their way.

At one point, I calmly asked for a clarification on a call made against my team. One of the referees came to explain, and proceeded to get right in my face. He seemed very worked up...caught up in the competitive feel of the game maybe. He was bouncing up and down on his toes with the pent-up energy as he talked to me. I felt he was ready to come after me! I tried to get him to calm down...I just wanted an explanation, not a fight.

So this shows both sides can get caught up in the heat of the game. I guess the bottom line is that the most important thing is how you handle the heat! Let it get out of control, and you (and your team) have to deal with the consequences.

The thing that usually bugs me the most as a coach is when the referees don't have control of the game. Whether their calls are right or not, they have to take control. At the middle school level, they are not going to get everything right (I know I don't as a coach)! But at least seize control of the game.

so simple and so right.basketball is life and the way we act in basketall is the same we act at life.

Right on the head of the nail.

I want to translate your article and publish it in our coaches magazine. (free for the members of the belgian coaches association); Do you allow this when we mention your name and website?
Thank you.

Yeah, Steve. It can be frustrating if the referees don't have control of the game.

Thanks for the kind words, Asi and Wim.

Great article, should be required reading for every youth coach. One of our team rules is r-e-s-p-e-c-t (our 5th graders enjoy yelling it like the song). At practice huddles, we discuss what it means to respect the other team, the refs, parents and each other.

Great article, should be required reading for every youth coach. One of our team rules is r-e-s-p-e-c-t (our 5th graders enjoy yelling it like the song). At practice huddles, we discuss what it means to respect the other team, the refs, parents and each other.

Hi Joe, How are you. I heard you were home the other night and going to try and get some meat on my grandsons bones.

This is a very good article. And the coaches as well as the fans should read it.

Mary

What happens when you get the refs who ae on a power trip. I can't believe I got a tech called for simply saying" look in the rule book". When I asked him why did I get a tech his response was he has the power to do it! I think we need to remind refs there is a difference between a youth basketball game and a varsity game.

I have had refs tell me that the coach is not allowed to talk to them during the game. This on the first question asked of them. By the rulebook only the captain that is on the floor is allowed to talk to the referee.
I believe this is an answer that promotes an absence of control. As a referee they need to take control of the situation and answer the question (as stated above by John). This is the same as referee's that call a foul and do not tell everyone involved the number and team the foul was on.
The point is that the referees are an important part of the learning experience for the players, the parents and the coaches. They need to take this responsibility to heart.

I quess I have a question, more than a comment. How do you deal with a referee whose son is playing on the opposing team and who is making unsubstantited calls? This in itself can be very upsetting to 5th and 6th grade kids.

I can agree with the article for the most part. I do however believe that a game should be called fairly. I've been coaching for about 6-7 years now and I've gotten so few technicals that I am apt to remember them. In one instance, the opposing team was in the double bonus before the first half was over and they had a total of 2 team fouls and we were losing by nearly double digits. Something is not right and I'll let them know. As I received my technical for letting them know their job needed work I was happy I was able to point that out.

The second half was much more even and while we still lost, perhaps as a result of the way the first half was called, perhaps not, but I thought they did a much better job at officiating. Once the game was over I told them the stats of the 2 halves and that I appreciated the effort in calling things fairly in the second half.

One of them said that he appreciated me not going further than pointing out my dissatisfaction and moving on versus keeping on them throughout the game. The key here is that you make your point and move on.

I've been coaching youth basketball for 31 years. When I started all the coaches were very vocal with the refs and players, including me. The league probably averaged one technical a game. Today, I'm much less vocal with the refs (I still have my moments) but still very vocal with the players - I believe they need constant reinforcement at a young age. At times I have taken the fun out of the game for me and the kids by yelling at the refs - not very proud of my actions. This year I notice my 12 year old getting angry with the refs when a call didn't go his way. Where did he get that from? Yeah, the kids follow our lead. We have talked about this and it's motivated me to not complain to the refs - shouldn't have had to learn it this way. I'd rather he just play hard and accept whatever the refs call - they're not going to change the call anyway. Finally, while I could have behaved better over the years I always made one thing very clear to my team - a ref does not win or lose a game. Look at yourselves - missed layups, poor foul shooting, defensive breakdowns before you blame a ref for a loss.

Ross, don't play the game!!!!

I'm not a coach, neither a ref, just a simple Player, but our coach tends to scream a lot during games and I've found it really upsetting that the team has to calm him down, when he's throwing his bottle around and jumping up and down.
So whenever he takes a time-out and we expect some new game strategies he's often still upset about a bad call. He's also a ref so he thinks he's always right. This has already cost us a game cause the refs were very stubborn too and in the end 4 players of our starting five (excluding me) were benched with 5 fouls.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a very emotional player but past experiences showed that you just have to keep calm and rather ask the refs nicely why they called it, so you can learn to stop doing whatever you did wrong. And even if you didn't do anything... just breathe and try to get past it as fast as possible.

Hi,Jo
I read your article,and I think that this is fantastic.As a coach I want to find more books
about this article!!Help me?
I''''''''''''''''m coaching the youth basketball players,in Belgrade.Sometimes I have a problem with the ref.
We are playing in Serbian League!
In the first three games I was very angry at the ref,because I think that they have not control the game.
But after that I realized that the problem is in my team.
The coach must to realize the game and to be ave are about the opponent strength.
As the time is passing by,my team starting to win the next games,because I starting to get maximum concentrate in the game,not to have any discussion with the ref.
My opinion is that,the coaches must to be concentrate in the game,not in the ref,and your children will play better and without any stress situation.
Nice job Jef!!

A very good article that makes good points. I am a coach and a certified ref. I do not "work" refs because it so often backfires. A ref should control the game, know the rules, and be as fair as possible. As a coach, I expect a ref to work hard, call them both ways and make a minimal amount of mistakes- he or she will make mistakes. I have never seen a perfect game- by a player, a ref or for that matter a coach. No ref will be able to see everything or call everything (I wouldn't want that). I don't want to see a game where one team shoots 6 foul shots and the other shoots 38... unless it is the result of the level of skill of the players. A ref should work hard to get into position and call it fairly- the same on both sides of the court. A coach who "loses it" or screams at a ref is not only setting a bad example for his players and fans, he is not doing his job of working with his players so that they can perform at their best. As one of the commenters said, it often upsets the players on the team. Sorry this is long, but I really appreciated the article and its thoughts.

I coach at the HS level and recently began helping with my daughter's CYO team. I admit I have a history of yelling at refs but I feel that I have been justified in doing so. My reasons are similiar to some other responses posted such as refs who make bad calls for lack of knowing better or just because they are biased. I have spoken to the other refs of games and was confirmed that my gripe was legitimate. Additionally, I have had refs tell me the most ridiculous reasons for their bad calls or lack of calls. Actually, I have had refs tell me that the won't make the right call because they don't won't to. Just as coaches are expected to set examples for the children, I would expect a referee to be professional about his duty and responsibility in conducting the game officiating with respect for his position, influence on the participants and the integrity of the game. I am not a certified referee but have taken the time to work with new trainees so that I am also aware of what is expected of them, how rules/infractions are interpreted and exactly how to teach my players the correct way to play the game (understanding how it would be officiated). I agree that they are people too and should be treated with respect but I also understand that as people they have opinions, feelings, prejudices, may lack training, may lack control, may lack integrity. There is no psychological testing to be a referee, so the person handling your game may make calls against your team because of a prior experience that he/she is reminded of. The ref could have had a horrible day and when you question them about a call (in the most respectful manner) they blow their top. I once had a ref try to forfeit a game in progress for my team because the school safety officers cheered when we went on a 8-0 run to extend the lead. He tried to have them removed and said we would have to forfeit it they didn't. The other ref had to step in and tell him how out of line he was.

Worse situation was a ref who came at one of my players after an away game with fists flailing. He taunted my players during the game, commented throughout how he wasn't going to give them any calls and refused to stop play (would not even give me a timeout)when a player was injured. That game was for 1st place in our division and the other ref didn't show up, so he was free to do what ever he liked. Adding insult to the mix was the governing body refused my protest of the game, even though they were infromed by security of the other school of the ref's behavior. I have always believed that respect is earned when it is given.

I would like to end with a question- Why are referees at lower levels (HS on down) too afraid to challenge/correct/intervene on their partners calls, even if they have it differently or the better angle???

This is because lower level refs are volunteers with limited experience and training. Would you feel comfortable calling out one of your peers in a public setting and pointing out they are wrong?

In todays game, this is just a FACT. If you play basketball you are going be in games with terrible officiating and bad calls. There is no way around it. It will happen.

This is something that's needs to be accepted and then you have choices on how you handle these situations with the utmost dignity and professionalism. I once heard "life is all about your attitude -- life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." I think that's pretty accurate.

It's all about how you react to the situation and make the best of it. Getting pissed at a ref will not improve the situation for anyone involved. There are better ways to handle things and better ways to improve the situation.

Great article! I alway remind my players (grade 4 to 6) that respecting everyone around them is one of the most important things to me as a coach.
The referees are a HUGE part of a basket game. They are the law for the whole time a game is going on.
I love the tips you''''ve given us at the end of the article.
Thank you for taking the time!
Tanya

First of all, I want to thank you for all your excellent basketball advice. I am a young coach and I have benefitted greatly from your website.

I am an assistant coach for a 5th grade girls' AAU team. The head coach is also a young female. We are very respectful to the referees and we focus on our players rather than any bad calls we encounter. We absolutely do not yell at them, and if we have a question it is usually more about what the call was or who it was on than complaining about it, and we address them respectfully. We don't tolerate our kids complaining to the refs and so they don't complain.

I have exactly two problems with referees (especially AAU refs): the first is when they can't be bothered to hustle and get in position to make a call. A lot of times in AAU they do several games in a row, and I understand that that requires a lot of running. But if they aren't up for it then they shouldn't be reffing. We just played a tournament where each game had two refs, which isn't always the case at youth level AAU, and even with a partner on the baseline, the one ref couldn't be bothered to get over half court. She stood literally 5 feet behind half court and in general missed a great game. The second problem I have is when they don't call a foul just to keep the game moving. This happens all the time in AAU. I understand that they are under time restraints, and I don't expect them to call every little touch foul - in fact, I'm glad they don't. But one of the things we've focused on during practice is going hard to the rim and not being afraid to draw contact. Our kids are 10 and at the beginning of the season would shy away from any sort of contact on a fast break or any other drive to the hoop. We did a full court 1 on 1 fast break drill literally every single practice for the first several weeks to get them to go right to the rim and draw contact. It took some of them longer than others but they now have the confidence to go in strong to the hoop even with a defender in their face. Nothing makes me more upset during a game than when the ref fails to call even the most blatant foul in this situation - not because we don't get those two foul shots, but because it undermines what we've taught them is the correct way to play the game.

I explain all of this to show that I have a respect for referees and only become frustrated when they are doing a disservice to the work that the kids have put into the game. I understand that every ref - even the great ones - will miss a call every once in a while. I never get upset about that. We deal with it as part of the game, because that's what it is, and we teach our kids to do the same.

I want to ask your opinion on the best way to handle speaking to them. We were in a close game against an older team and both teams were playing very hard. I really didn't have a complaint about the refs except that we had several, and I mean probably 5 or 6, fast break situations where our kids took it strong to the hoop and got fouled HARD, but there was no call made. We hadn't complained about any of the calls. But after about the 5th such situation, my player who took the layup and got hit hard missed the shot. The other team grabbed the rebound. My player proceeded to try to defend the outlet pass and got called for reaching in when I'm not even sure she had touched the girl. This happened to be our team's 10th foul, so the other team got 2 shots. During the foul shot, I simply stood next to the ref who made the call and said, "Can you please watch the fouling on the fast break layups? We are getting hit pretty hard." He was so indignant and kept asking me what I meant. I did not raise my voice, I just repeated that I wanted him to watch the fouling on our end. He said, "That's what I've been doing all game." I specifically did not do anything to embarrass him; I did not yell across the floor that he made a bad call or anything of the sort. I simply had a conversation with him on the sideline during a foul shot. No one else could hear us. He proceeded to call a phantom foul on one of my kids on the very next possession (which happened to be her 4th foul and earned her a spot on the bench). I am just wondering if there is a more effective way for me to express what I was trying to express. Was there a better way I could have phrased my complaint? Like I said, I am a young coach and I do not have much experience in dealing with referees. I hope that this situation was unique as far as his response, but I would love to get anyone else's take on it. I know that my complaint was legitimate, but not sure that I handled it properly. Any thoughts?

Sarah (and all coaches)
The longer you are in this game the more you will realize that the lower level refs are not very good... IF they are, they move up quickly. So, at the 5th grade level you probably have volunteer refs, high school kids etc. ? (and not very good)

I learned the hard way, got my share of Ts until I reached the Varsity HS level. Got a T in one of my first games and got myself under control very quickly after that. I learned that HUMOR is a much better way of talking to refs.... they will listen a lot better.
I don't think your comment was bad the first time... but he was trying to bait you, next time make your comment quitely and then sit down IF your player was getting knocked down I would say, protect the players please.

Once a ref decides he isn't going to give you a break, there isn't a lot you can do about it.
All you can do is to encourage your players to play harder - this is a great learning experience... how to handle adversity - they will take their cues from you and act accordingly.

Have fun with the refs, joke around and they will look forward to doing your games. Make sure you know the rules, nothing turns refs off more that a coach that challenges them and doesn't have the rule right.

I hope this helps you.

Hi Sarah,

I don't think there is nothing that I could add to Coach Sar's comment. It sounds like you handled it pretty well.

Thank you both for your responses. I like the phrase "protect the players" so I'll keep that in mind. Definitely great advice - thank you so much!

Sarah,

I have been a HS Official for 8yrs and after reading your article, you did not do anything wrong in making a statement to the refs that you would like for them to watch the hard contacts on the fast breaks. Good officials would provide an explanation as to why a foul was not called. If a player is going hard to the basket and hard contact is made, in most cases this should have been a foul. However, the rule book states that opponents making hard contact does not necessarily constitute a foul. It is the judgement of the official to decide whether or not it was a foul. If the defender tries to make a play on the ball and caused some hard contact, an official can''t take anything away from this defensive play just because contact was made. We all can agree that there will be contact throughout the game. I have noticed from other officials that a foul is automatically called only because of the contact. So what I am trying to say, is that its all about the judgement of an official which determines the call. If you would have made that statement to me, I would have responded with either, "ok I will watch next time", or provide you with an explanation. Of course, keep in mind there are different officials with different personalities. And yes I agree with Coach Sar, the better officials are officiating in the upper levels so as tough as it is to swallow, expect this to happen with the subpar officials. I do believe that displaying respect from both positions (coach/refs) though would significantly help the morale. Good luck!!!

Overall, I find that youth officiating is spotty at best. I''ve watched many youth games over the years (3 boys will keep you busy) and usually it''s just a little irritating, but tolerable.

Last year my son''s 6 grade traveling team was playing a game out of state. The other team was playing overly aggressive. They were jumping over our team''s backs for rebounds, hacking arms on defense and generally playing out of control. Unfortunately our "coach" isn''t very vocal. (Actually he seems a bit more concerned with his own reputation than protecting his team, so of course he didn''t say anything to the officials.) Our team travels well, so we had quite a few fans there. Over the course of the game, many of our parents were noticing that the officials were letting almost all of this stuff go, and began pointing out blatant no-calls. I must say that I was part of that as well. One time in the third quarter I even noticed an opposing player take a full on kick at my son''s backside because he was doing a good job of boxing him out. The referees completely missed it! With about 5 minutes to go in the game, a couple of the other parents and I even considered a walkout, but decided to let it finish out. With about a minute to go in the game one of our players got fouled so badly that he went down in a pool of blood on the floor. (He got his lip split open so badly that he ended up needing a handful of stitches to fix him up.) They ended up calling the game at that point.

As we made our way to the door, we passed the injured player from our team. He was still on the floor and he was being tended to. The referee was standing about 5 feet from him and in the path towards the exit. As I passed by the referee, I looked down at the hurt player and stated to the referee, "That''s what happens when you let the players play out of control". I continued walking. The coach from the other team ran over from the other sideline and started screaming at me to get out of his gym. The ironic part is that I had to literally stop leaving his gym in order to listen to his tirade. I was actually at the doorway at that point and on my way out. It was also odd since I''m quite sure that he couldn''t even hear what I had said to the referee, as I stated it in a normal speaking tone and he was about 200 feet away.

Obviously this was very embarrassing for my family and me. My question is; why is it always the parents fault? Can''t there ever be terrible officials? I don''t advocate yelling at referees, but if they are being paid to do a job, they need to do it somewhat competently; especially when their calls (or non-calls) endanger our kids...right?

@ Frustrated fan. I feel your pain. Since I have been a ref I understand both points of view. A Ref's job isnt easy (by any means), but we still should do our jobs correctly. I dont mind when a parent or fan critics my work. Sometimes I even have to wear "tough skin", because in some gyms I can literally hear every taunt. Ive ran across refs that only wanted their paycheck. They kept that whistle silent so that the game would continue and end quickly. This is the worst kind of Ref, and I think that this is the kind that u witnessed. Im sorry, but in every job there will be people that only care about themselves.
To be a Ref you should care about the safety and security of ALL the youth involved in the event.
Now as a parent/ coach 2 years ago a pair of refs came to my High School. They were missing calls left and right. Now I will never curse a ref out, or try to call him by name, but I will let u and everybody in the gym know when I disapprove of the calls that r being made. This was the case this night. Our HS Varsity team pulled out a close victory, and I thought that I had seen the last of that awful crew.
Fast forward 3 months later and my Little Dribblers Team (All-Stars) are playing for the right to go to the national tournament. We actually were able to secure the regional tourney at our home gym so Im feeling pretty good about our chances.
We win the first game of the tourney by 35 pts and really just stall-balled the whole second half. Then we faced the next team, and guess who shows up to ref the game????? Thats right horrible crew from the HS game!!!! My jaw dropped! To make the rest of the story short I had a starter foul out the first Qtr!!! Due to the rules of our league they had to play 1 full qtr to qualify. Whats funny is his 5th foul was actually on someone else! The ref went to the scorers table and called out that particular players number! Parents went ballistic! Everyone saw that this player was on the opposite side of the court when the foul took place! We lost by 3. we still made it to nationals and took 4th place but I guess the morale of this story is......????? I guess to get "U reap what u sow!" LOL

We need to find a way to make high school basketball referees accountable for their calls. I live in a community where one of the coaches takes all the district referees out to dinner. Is this acceptable, should this be allowed. Isn't there somewhere in the referee handbook that says this could be considered a bribe? Is there a code of ethics book for basketball referees?

High school referees are held accountable. By their state Association and by the AD's who hire them. The home team generally hires the officials. If your home officials are bad..go talk to your AD. I have never seen a game be determined by which coach yelled the loudest at the referees. It's a thankless job that very few people will do anymore. There are bad referees and there are also bad coaches.

I agree that this article is a thought provoking article and one that hits home with a lot of coaches, fans, family, etc... I think if your recommendations are followed it will have a positive result.
I do also agree though that referees need to be held accountable during and after the game(s). I agreed with previous comments regarding this, such as not seeing 38 foul shots for one team and 6 for another. That just isn't realistic, especially in the younger ages, you could probably call a foul on almost each possesion either way. Lopsided refereeing hurts the kids, they see an unfair situation and feel demoralized by it. You can say that this doesn't effect the game, but it does. Foul calls matter, they affect momentum and possesions which affect scores. In a close game a call one way or another can definitely change the game.
And just the fact that someone is paying the ref's doesn't hold them accountable, evaluations by coaches should hold weight in their ability to ref and be hired. Kids are held accountable for their performance with time on the court, so should referees. I have seen referees not calling anything, or failing to make calls at the end of a game so it ends, or one ref calling everything while the other calling little, causing the lopsided fouls, bonus situations and foul shots.
No one is perfect, but consistent incosistency needs some kind of accountability, and we shouldn't just tell our players they just have to endure it cause that's life. Well if that's the case then ref's just have to endure it, cause that's life... right?

I think sometimes there is a need to do so. Of course you don't want to use profanity but sometimes you have to show your players you are willing to fight for them. Just my feelings.

When the officiating is consistently lacking (bad) and the officials favor one team or the other ,especially in elementary or high school ball it is very hard to adhere to the "respect " rule. Much closer monitoring of the quality of officials and their attitude should be going on instead of always focusing on the fans and the coaches and players. Those in charge of licensing officials are really dropping the ball. We live in Ohio and the officiating is probably at the lowest level of quality in the nation.

This is a great article Joe...

You make a lot of good points.... I know that it took me some time before I realized how to deal with officials..... trust me, yelling isn't going to get you anywhere... I found that using humor when I was "suggesting" that they blew a call got me a lot further than blowing my stack.

Harriet,
There are some good officials and there are some bad ones... the lower levels either get the ones breaking in or on the way out.... they work their way up the ladder just like in any other line of work.

You can bet their are fans in the stands that don't like the refs... ( depending on which team is winning ) and those same fans are saying how bad a coach one of them are.

There is usually only one assignment chairperson for each group of refs.. and I know that I have seen them come out and evaluate how the crew is doing. My only suggestion is to try and take care of what you can control and don't worry about what you cant. Believe me, I talk to a lot of coaches and they will tell me how bad some of the officials are... this is all over the country.

Try to be a good role model for your kids and help them as much as you can.... and again... use some humor when you question a call.... they will laugh and it will diffuse the situations.

By the way, I wish I knew this when I started coaching....

This is an excellent article. One point that I also should be emphasized is that NFHS rules explicitly say that "expressing disapproval" with a decision of an official is unsportsmanlike conduct-- for which the consequence is a technical foul. So, not only is it disrespectful and sets a poor example (as you explained well) but it also is simply against the rules of the game. The rulebook doesn't say that the expression of disapproval has to be excessive or loud or repetitive. Most officials just choose to extend that courtesy and let us get away with arguing and blurting out. If we want officials to enforce the rules of the game then we need to lead by example and comply with the unsportsmanlike conduct rule.

Dorian,

IF the officials called every infraction during a game, it would take several hours to finish, that included play on the floor and coaches talking to them.

I am a firm believer that refs make their calls from the angles they see the play from... as coaches, we see it from a different angle and maybe rose colored glasses too.

After you are in the game for awhile, you get to know the refs and they are willing to listen to your complaints as long as you don't make them look bad... IF you do that, you will get a T. But, IF they handed out Ts for every time you didn't like their calls and showed that.... coaches wouldn't be at many games. Sometimes I just offered them my glasses which usually got a laugh but they knew what I meant...... Again, get to know the officials and things will go a lot better.

A lot of refs will call the game with a "advantage / disadvantage" philosophy, just for the sake of keeping some sort of flow to the game.

I am a youth basketball player and I still yell at the refferees but my coach does too and I don't blame him because at my most recent game the ref wouldn't call any fouls in our favor but coach didn't do anything to get on his bad side yet he just hates coach I even have an uncalled foul on my hand ( which is a scratch) but how do you get off a referees bad side??

Me -

Let me ask you a question..... how would you react to the ref yelling at you? What level do you- play at?

Now don't get me wrong - there were times I wasn't a saint myself. Just because your coach yells does not give you the right, or should you yell, that could hurt your team in the long run. I'm surprised that you didn't get a T.

Do refs make bad calls, yes, do coaches make mistakes, yes, do players make mistakes, yes. We all do, so try and relax when you are playing and have some FUN.

So, to your question, how do you get on the good side of the refs? Be polite and treat them the way you want to be treated. Hand them every loose ball and say yes sir and no sir and smile.

We had one ref in our league who was very quick with the Ts and I told them exactly what I just told you, trust me, it will work.

You're young and we all make mistakes, don't worry about it too much, just act appropriately from now on and enjoy the game.

ken-

i do beileve that everyone should treat them nice but you didn't hear the whole story. yes I do treat them nicely but he treated me like i do everything wrong and one of my friends fouled out by gaurding them from a foot away. He doesn't like my coach or our team and we don't like him when i wrote that comment i was mad and i just got out of a game so sorry for being so mad but you get it b now don't you?

me-

You mad? Nahh LOL I''m still laughing now.... I know what thats like, believe me. :-)
What level do you play at?

You are going to run into a lot of refs like that... but trust me, its counter productive to get mad at the refs ( you will never get a call ) or yourself... because it will effect your game.

Before I was the varsity coach, I coached the sophomores for 8 years.... and I did something regularly to my teams when we scrimmaged... it was called "Character Building" !!

I would make some ridiculous call, like travelling when it obviously wasn''t... at first they wanted to challenge me, I started to give the kid a T and one of his players figured it out quickly... and dragged him away... the kids on the sideline were laughing becuase they knew what I was doing.

It taught them to keep their cool and just play harder.... you will get a lot more bad calls as you play this game. I hope you have fun and learned something from what I am telling you here.... good luck and I hope the rest of the season is a good one.

It is understandable for yelling at sporting events when players/coaches/refs/spectators are going to die from a fire in the building.

Clueless as to how we got our priorities upside down in our sport's culture.