Coaching Basketball: How Do You Deal With An Assistant Coach Who Oversteps Their Bounds?

Yea you’re an assistant do what he says until you’re head coach one day

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Info says: 8/22/2022 at 8:19:50 AM Thank you for your feedback. Like     login   register

I stepped up to coach a 7/8 year old team because of a lack of coaches. One dad says he wants to assist. I was like sure. Immediately I had a bad feeling. Countless emails and texts before first practice. So I tried to give him a task, free throw shooting, that would keep him away from me. First game comes up and he is all over the place and loud. Just buzzing with no focus. Then we practice and he had the nerve to run the huddle at the end with out me, as I was working with individual players. So, told him not to do that anymore, he acted like nothing happened. The next game he is even worst. I don’t want to tell a dad he is banned from coaching but he is out of control. My plan is to talk to him again and if he doesn’t get it, he is done.

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I’ve been an assistant coach now for 7 years at the high school level, have even coached some all-state players. This is my second year at the school I am now and I’m the lead assistant coach, my duties are defense, BOB and pregame war-ups. I’m with a coach who’s been a head for 4 years now. Our philosophies are totally different in what we want to do as coaches. I see a lot of kids not being held accountable on and off the court, not discipline, not a lot of structure and haven’t had a good season and what he''s preaching to them goes against my philosophy or morals as a coach from how I have been taught to coach. I am trying my hardest to understand his philosophy and offer as much help I can and will never undermine what he teaches but it’s not helping out athletes on or off the court, the record shows it, (we have talent) attendance for games is very low and some pretty pissed off parents as well. How do I handle this situation, it’s easy to find another job but I like where I work, I like the community, and the kids. Any suggestions?

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I am the head coach of a youth team. With 14 players ages 5-7 it helps to have an assistant. For two years it went well but this year the writing is on the wall that they play politics with other parents and have created a nucleus of children that they are going to take and create a travel team with half our players. It’s frustrating to volunteer your time and have the assistant politic behind your back to take players onto a travel team. It isn’t the players leaving that bothers me as I understand the travel teams offer better competition and more opportunities to play, it’s the backdoor nature that bothers me. My child plays the minimum and plays hard though not the best athlete. Because it’s inevitable that they’ll leave I’ve debated bringing up what has become obvious. The assistant is one my child’s best friends parents so there is a level of awkwardness in making this an ordeal.

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Jeff Haefner says: 3/31/2019 at 12:08:06 PM This is not uncommon at all. It can be frustrating! And I'm not condoning what happened, I think the parent should be upfront with you as the coach even it can be an uncomfortable conversions for some. It shouldn't be uncomfortable, but for some reason, it is for many. With that said, I think you give the parent the benefit of the doubt and I certainly would not make an ordeal about it. He/she might not realize it would bother you. And in the grand scheme of things... it's not a big deal. It's just basketball. 5-7 year olds at that. Just let them have fun and help the kids learn how to be a good people (honest, kind, etc). There are some many bigger and more important problems in the world to be concerned with. My advice is to assume the parent had the best of intentions and it's nothing. If fact, you can't blame a parent for wanting what they think it best for their child. Navigating the youth sports world is challenging and all the parents have different goals, perceptions, and want different things for their kids. I would not worry about it. If you stay in youth sports, this won't be the last time something like this happens. Now if this is a friend, you might want to them as a friend, if this hurt you. Approach it tactically and just let them know you really respect them and wished you would have talked to you. You would have understood. I wouldn't want you to lose out on a friendship because of something like this. Good luck! Like     login   register

I am new to the district in which I am coaching and had an assistant coach appointment for me. Out of politeness, I also told the team's former coach that he is welcome to be there and help out whenever he can. I give them both responsibilities and allow them to run some drills at practice, trying to keep them actively involved. But, now that our season has started, I am having trouble during timeouts and at halftime. One immediately jumps in and begins talking at each timeout and the other attempts to take over during halftime. Players are looking strangely at both of them because they continue to talk when I begin addressing the team. I am talking with both at our next practice and am going to tell them that we as coaches will talk briefly during these times, but that I will be the one addressing the team. If that doesn't work, anyone have any suggestions? Both are long winded and don't really have the players attention.

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Jeff says: 1/2/2019 at 12:02:13 PM Come up with a structure for timeouts and half time. Explain the plan to the assistant coaches and also hand it to them so they have it on paper. A sample structure for half time could be: - 2 minutes (coaches chat: head coach asks: what is working? what is not workout? any adjustments to make?) - assistant 1 has 2 min to cover defense - assistant 2 has 2 min to cover offense - head coach has 4 min to cover everything else With that said, I don't think there is enough time for all that. We used to have one assistant talk about defense for a couple minutes and then have the head coach for the rest. The assistants need defined expectations. I would probably tell the assistants that you as head coach will talk during the whole timeout and only assistant talk if the coach addresses them. I wouldn't even let them talk briefly if they are long winded and don't understand YOU are in charge. There just isn't enough time for everyone to chime in and I would think this would just confuse the players. Usually you can only give them 2 or 3 things to focus on during a timeout. Otherwise it's just in one ear and out the other (information overload). Like     login   register

I just finished an undefeated season with the boys 7th grade team! I was the only coach for this season. Now I’m coaching girls basketball and the season starts in a few weeks. I’m working with an assistant coach who can sometimes over step what I’m trying to do. I’m curious if Any of you would keep him or cut him before the season starts and look for a replacement? Let me know what you would do!
Thanks any help would be great!

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Jeff says: 1/2/2019 at 12:09:07 PM That is a decision you'll have to make based on the situation. I would consider cutting if the coach was causing too many problems. But ideally you give the coach defined expectations and learn how to to work together. I'm sure intentions are probably good and expectations probably just need defined. Like     login   register

I am a middle school teacher and stepped up to be the head volleyball coach this year. I played a few years in school but I am definitely not an expert. The athletic coordinator hired an assistant coach who was a elementary volunteer coach and who has a daughter who will be on the team.

The assistant coach already assume his daughter and all of the players from his school will make the team. We usually have 40 plus girls tryout for 22 spots. Practices start the last couple weeks of summer, but he sent me a text saying he is already working with 5-7 girls nightly and wants to send out an email to invite others to start coming to his friends private gym to build team unity.

I do not want to start until the published date that we put out because I have other things going on and I feel that those who don’t come all summer will feel left out once tryouts begin. I’m concerned that he is basically taking over because of the connection he has with players through his daughter.

I do not really know any of the volleyball players and I certainly want to build a strong team, but I also don’t think it’s right to have unofficial practices all summer long when we put out that tryouts started the end of July. I can’t go to these summer practices so I think it would be weird if the girls spent all summer with assistant coach and then they don’t even meet me as the head coach until the end of summer. Should I tell the assistant coach that he is welcome to do whatever as a parent, but as an assistant coach our team start date is July 23?

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Jeff says: 6/25/2018 at 10:10:54 AM Yes that's what I would probably do. If he wants to do something as a parent or club coach... that's up to him. But the school team starts on "xyz date". Like     login   register

A coach needs assistants to help carry out their goals. It is important that communication happens between the coaching staff following the direction of the coach. Assistants can provide expertise or different viewpoints, and help to explain to the coach how the team or coaching may improve. Allowing a parent to coach is also a rewarding experience for the parent/player. Coaching is not a dictatorship, it is a cooperative.

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I have an assistant with whom I have communicated my expectations and tried to give him clear roles and places. He refuses to follow expectations and buy in to the philosophies and goals I have for the program. He tries arguing with me about every decision I make and he clearly defies what I ask. He does not communicate with me; for example he missed a practice and didn''t tell me he was going to miss. He also has a lack of basketball fundamental knowledge. I continually had to go behind him and correct the form that he was teaching my players, even though it was something that I demonstrated every practice. I have communicated with my AD who insists that I learn to deal with his personality. I''m not sure exactly what to do or how to handle the situation. I feel like every step forward there''s a step backward with an already suffering program.

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Jeff says: 4/24/2017 at 9:16:21 AM That's a tough one. I would at the very least document the dates and descriptions of these violations. That way if you really want this person off your staff, you have more effective pitch and you generally need that documented any time you let someone go. Beyond that, I don't think there's a good answer. Have to take each situation and handle as professionally and effectively as you can. Like     login   register

Maire -

I agree with Joe here. This is a difficult situation at best. Talk with him and ask for some advice regarding the way things are done at the school.

The next thing I would do is to have a meeting with the players and parents and talk about your expectations, your tules and the rules of the district. Talk about the goals of the program and where you would like to see it go.

Frankly I don't see why he wants to be part of this after having to step down UNLESS you have a good relationship with him. When I retired I helped the program for 1 more year but we got along well.

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Marie - Have you tried talking with him and explaining that you have very different philosophies (as you did in this post)?

If you are matter of fact and very respectful of him (maybe even compliment him and even ask advice about something like motivation, etc.), he'll probably understand and hopefully start to back you. There's nothing wrong with his philosophy but you have a different background and different system. And you want to train coaches with a fresh slate your system.

Most coaches understand that there are lots of different systems out there and each coach has a different way of going about things. You want to start building and like to do things you're own way.

And I'd humbly ask for his help talking with the players to get them on board with the new system. But ask him once season starts of he could stay behind the scenes so you could start your own path of learning and coaching. Just some thoughts.

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I am currently taking over a program as a head coach. I've already established my coaching staff, however the head coach of the program last year is interested in continuing to be a part of the program. We have very different coaching philosophies. I have thanked him for his offer and declined his help but he is very persistent and won't let up. He has already communicated to the players and parents in his own way that he was pushed out of the program and that the new head coach does not want him. Because of this, the players and parents are extremely upset and some players are refusing to play next season. He feels since he started this program (new school) that he deserves to stay and continue to coach and build the program. My only position that I have open is an assistant to a lower level coach. I am concerned that if I offer this position to him and he decides to take it that he will try and undermine me and cause more problems than need be even if I do discuss with him what his role and responsibilities will be. My questions are, do you think it would be wise of me to keep him in the program or not and if not, how do I explain to him that although he did start the program last year his services are not needed anymore?

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As Asst coach, I have always valued and known my place, and Coach has always kept me in communication with plans, strategies, and issues with the student athletes, and especially making sure the kids know I am there to help as well.

What happened that made things change?? There is always the good guy, (the asst.) and the bad guy, (the head coach) it goes with the territory.

What does an Asst do when Coach starts to play "favorites" ( athlete, who is now chosen Captain, is a personal friend of the Coaches family, yet also "the least athletic member of the team" (coaches words) and also concerning:

What level are we talking about? High school? Since he is the head coach, he gets to make all these decisions, right or wrong, As long as its not immoral.

(1. ONE athlete is worked with for 20 minutes to get the same skill three other athletes should also be working on,

2. its ok for a Captain to miss a game for a social outing:

I wouldn't think so but then again I don't know what the entire situation is. It might be something special that the coach gave the ok to a long time ago?

3. One athlete (and best friend of the 2 Captains) is allowed to arrange a fundraiser at her place of employment, including directing the other teammates via social networking.
Yet, another athlete joins a non- profit organization''s Team as a Team Leader, invites all family, friends and includes Teammates to join her with this activity, AFTER asking Coach and Captains permission, but Coach berates the Athlete for "stepping on Captains toes" )

Why would he do that IF he (the coach) gave his permission and the captain gave her permission also? You might just say something on the side about the Captains were ok with this and EVERYONE was included to join if they chose to. ???

and most critically, leaves the Asst as LAST in the line of communication: communicates daily (in private) with Captains, but leaves Asst out of the conversations, makes it clear in a text to athletes that communication runs from athletes to Captains to Coach, who will discuss with Captains and decide, then Asst will get the communication, then wonders why the Captains don't have a repoire with Asst Coach.

Besides leaving the position, what does an Asst do?

Why don't you sit down and have a meeting with him and ask him what your responsibilities are first? Then you might ask why you aren't getting a CC of his communications with the team. I am a firm believer of being Loyal... but IF you feel like you cant handle this anymore, you can always go to the AD and tell him/her that you are resigning from the assts. job. Then you can let him ask you why....

I would leave out the personal thing about the Captain and the social event...... I would think that the rest of the team would be unhappy about that already. A little side note, I only coached girls for one year, sophomore level.... one of my starters comes up to me and says she has to leave practice early tomorrow... WHY ? I have to take my little brother trick or treating. OK, that was a first.... but was I going to say no? Heck no.... I just told her that he has to bring me a candy bar tomorrow..... we laughed ( the team ) all was well and I got my candy bar the next day. Sometimes we have to be flexible.

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As Asst coach, I have always valued and known my place, and Coach has always kept me in communication with plans, strategies, and issues with the student athletes, and especially making sure the kids know I am there to help as well. What does an Asst do when Coach starts to play "favorites" ( athlete, who is now chosen Captain, is a personal friend of the Coaches family, yet also "the least athletic member of the team" (coaches words) and also concerning: (1. ONE athlete is worked with for 20 minutes to get the same skill three other athletes should also be working on, 2. its ok for a Captain to miss a game for a social outing: 3. One athlete (and best friend of the 2 Captains) is allowed to arrange a fundraiser at her place of employment, including directing the other teammates via social networking. Yet, another athlete joins a non-profit organization's Team as a Team Leader, invites all family, friends and includes Teammates to join her with with this activity, AFTER asking Coach and Captains permission, but Coach berates the Athlete for "stepping on Captains toes" ) and most critically, leaves the Asst as LAST in the line of communication: communicates daily (in private) with Captains, but leaves Asst out of the conversations, makes it clear in a text to athletes that communication runs from athletes to Captains to Coach, who will discuss with Captains and decide, then Asst will get the communication, then wonders why the Captains don't have a repoire with Asst Coach. Besides leaving the position, what does an Asst do?

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I meant rules in writing.

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Rob -

Did you give the players your expectations / rules in righting? That would be one of taking care of those types of problems.

I would sit down with the coach and explain what your expectations are and that YOU make up the starting line up now. He is probably doing this out of habit from when he was the head coach, but he needs to understand that its your responsibility now.

Try to tell him in a nice way that its not acceptable for a player to miss all those practices and then start.

As for #2 - I would not start her. Talk to her about her attendance and missing 8 pracices is NOT acceptable. Tell her that IF she wants her starting role back, she will have to come to ALL the practices. You can say that in a nice way, but she has to understand that to be part of a team means being there for them.

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I have an assistant coach who used to be the head coach of our team. I have been asked to be head coach and I have no problem dealing with all the aspects of coaching.

In the beginning of the season, I told my players my expectations. Primarily, I asked the team to be on time and to contact me if they are unable to make practices or if they are late. They sign an attendance log each practice. There is one player who has made 4 out 12 practices (excused and unexcused). She knows the game and has the athleticism for the game. My assistant coach makes excuses for her not being there and also applauds everything she does once she is at practice. He puts her into the line up while the other players that have been at every practice wonder why they are not playing.

Question 1: How do I address the coach's actins of putting a team member who is not committed into the lineup?

Question 2: I would like to not start the team player that is absent even though she can handle the position. I would like to start the players that have been working hard in practices. How do I explain this to the coach and the player in a tactful way?

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TG -

I don't know what the rules are where you are... but where I coach you are not allowed to coach unless you are a certified staff memeber or have a coaching certificate .... along with a background check.

As for me, I wouldn't want a parent to be an assistant coach... its hard enough coaching these days without having other parents accusing me of playing favorites... this is just me. I'm not sure why they are allowing other parents to to coach.

I take it that that you have already talked to the AD and the Principle? The next step is the Superintendent.. but I am not sure why you would want to get involved with that situation.... that could make it harder on your son. JMO

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What if a high school doesn''''t let you be an assistant coach because your child is on the team and of a situation they had with another parent? At the same time, they allow others to coach their child. What kind of recourse do I have when the principle and head of athletics are on the same page?

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CAH -

That can be tough, but just be happy that he is using it and hopefully making the team better.

I know that the first year I took over the sophomore team I ran something that he liked.... he asked me how we did it, I told him and he ran it a lot. Never said anything to me, but thats ok, it made me feel good knowing that he thought enough of me to use something I did.

Sometimes as assistants we would like to see the head guy do something ( some coaches wont do that ) I always tell coaches I know..... try to make it think like it was his idea. LOL

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What do you do as an asst when your head coach uses your offenses, your defenses and never acknowledges you or that you were even part of it ?

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Simple, best not have assistants and work alone. No need to make a parent an official assistant coach to give them specific tasks to deal.

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I did that many years ago. I was the asst. varsity coach. I had a lot to learn about continuity offenses so I sat back and tried to learn as much as possible.

I was good with Xs and Os and game strategy... and while it took a little while for the head coach to believe that I could help him during games, he did come around. Be patient and don't be afraid to make suggestions and don't feel bad if he doesn't listen to you for awhile. He told me, make as many suggesstions as you want, I might say no a 1,000 times, but the next one might be the one I take and hopefully it will win us a game.

Finally in one game - it was late and we had a 2 point lead, they had the ball out on the side in our end. I remembered what they had done earlier in the game, I got up and told him, we need to call a time out now.... right now. He called the time out, I told them what they were going to do, which was get someone back door vs our m2m. We never played zone but we did vs that time..... that one the game - from that point on he listened to me. At the awards night when he introduced me to all the parents he told them that I had won at least 8 games with suggesstions... I felt great that night. When I became the head coach, I remembered that and told all my assisstants the same thing.

So, pick your spots... learn as much as you can from the head guy, because before you know it... you will have your own team in his program. My own team came the next year and seriously, I wasn't ready to teach his system of man offenses..... I did a lot of mind picking in the fall since I didn't know I was getting my own team until late summer.

I don't know if any of this helps you, I hope it did.

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I'm going from a head coaching at a middle school to assistant coach at a high school and enjoyed learning from this article. I'm almost afraid of the opposite happening. What are some cues that I may not be aware of that will let me know when to step it up? I was too close to the situation as head coach.

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We recommend equal playing time below 5th grade. At about 6th or 7th grade, I like to play the players who work the hardest and have the best attitude. However, I will still play the other players at least 1/3 of the game.

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Does anybody know if there is a certain amount of time that youth players should be on the court for? or can the starters play the whole game?

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Thanks with the insight. As an Assistant it gives me an idea of what may be going on with my head. But do you have any suggestions for assistants where the head coach covers all practices and game coaching. I'm only able to give insight to players on the side during practices and on games.

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Thomas Saunders says: 5/16/2017 at 5:04:24 PM As an assistant, your job is exactly that. To assist the head coach. Become interested in what the coach is teaching and ask questions to the head coach to familiarize yourself with their coaching strategy. You can ask for a particular role or how you may help out. A poor thing that many assistants due is start to coach and provide overwhelming or conflicting information. Remember that the head coach provides the direction and assistants help to carry out the goals of the coaching philosophy. Like     login   register

I spell out EXACTLY what is expected of the assistant coaches in our season playbook. Expectations, appropriate conduct with players, during practices and games, etc. We have a pre-season meeting and then meet daily after practice. I have had assistant coaches who were not loyal, some were lazy and basically incompetent in the past. That is why I started doing this. This article confirms that I am on the right track, so thank you for publishing it.

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Like everyone in here, great topic. I really like the idea of meeting on a regular or semi-regular setup and setting clearly defined expectations and roles. As an assistant coach, seeing and hearing what the head coach wants, makes my job so much easier.

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This is a good article. What happens though when your assistant is part of the AD's mission to have you fired as the head coach. Politics in high school sports will always baffle me. It is not how good the coach is or how he is turning a program around for the better, it is whose kid did not get enough playing time.

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I think thats a good ideal. I will use them on pratice next time. Also, to have meeting and go over everthing that need to be fix. Thanks for the tip!

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nice topic...this will greatly help head coaches in dealing with their assistant/s...keep it up.....god bless

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